Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Kids Always Prove Me Wrong

That really is the only truth in parenting, or so it seems. No matter how well of a routine, or plan, or experience you have with any given situation, the children will make sure you get comfortable with your successful parenting, and then WHAM, pull the rug out. I'm pretty sure they time it and wait for just the right moment to go crazy.

Even though most of the the day, and 99.95% of the year they are angels, don't be fooled.

They will stop at nothing to prove that, indeed, they are uncontrollable, separate entities that can make their heads spin around, snarl, and kick with the best of any horror movie creature.

And for me, the kids decided I'd had enough of well behaved little boys while I had my sister in law over for a playdate.

The sister in law that just had twins.

Twin boys.

And I was JUST telling her how great the kids are and how everything will get easier once the twins can interact more and communicate and JUST HOW SWEET THE BOYS ARE TO EACH OTHER.

I obviously pushed my luck, and luck decided that was a good moment to laugh at me.

Because, in the middle of a peaceful conversation about fun baby-isms, JR knocked over Little Dude's block "tower/bridge/road/building" and Little Dude LOST HIS MIND.

He then hit JR with a block. HARD.

So, I told him he had to go to the corner (and totally thinking, ah perfect, my sister in law can see how discipline works so well here)But Little Dude LOST IT MORE and declared he WASN'T GOING TO THE CORNER.

So, I got up, smiled at my sister in law, and went to Little Dude, saying something about how he can't hit JR and we can fix his "tower/bridge/road/building" after he is good in the corner, but he must go to the corner for hitting-he knows that isn't allowed and knows the result of hitting is going to the corner.

Did he go? No. I started to panic a bit, and then threatened a swift spanking if he didn't go chill out for a minute in the corner. Usually, at the times when either child decides they don't want to go to the corner for discipline, the threat of a spanking makes them decide the corner is not so bad, and generally no spanking is even given. (and when I say spanking, it really is more of a swat). I have some deep seeded issues with overthetop spanking that would take years to explain.


Little Dude looked at me (and at this moment, I felt my stomach drop as I realized THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN WAS ABOUT TO ENSUE) and he then declared HE DIDN'T LIKE ME AND WASN'T GOING IN THE CORNER. Oh, did I mention he can yell pretty loud?

At this point the twins were watching, taking notes, I'm sure, and their mom was looking a bit scared.

So, I was left with no choice but to swat him, confident THEN he would just go get in the corner. Instead; however, he simply started to scream, snarl, attempt to bite and kicked at me. OH MY GOD, WHAT TO DO? Why do kids not come with a manual????

Again, I smiled at my sister in law-who was by then looking at her twin boys and my boys with a little bit of horror-and scooped Little Dude up and took him away from the room, back to his room, where I figured a change of scenery, away from an audience, and all alone in his room might calm him down.

I learned you should not reason with an upset 3 year old and changing the scenery does nothing but make him yell louder about his "tower/bridge/road/building".

Eventually, I left him in his room, while he yelling about the injustices of the world, and came back out to see my sister in law.

Even though she was sweet about it and said some things about boys being boys and kids being kids, I don't think I'm going to be able to convince her to have another playdate anytime soon.

And the kicker? I had totally wanted to show her how manageable everything is, and to not be nervous about the twins, and how she will find a routine that works and yes, her house will be clean again and yes the kids will play nicely and share....

I'd been up late the night before-and even spent time that morning-cleaning the house just so she would be impressed and feel like, "Hey, you have two two year olds and a three year old here all day-if you can do it I can do it with my twins. This is doable, eventually all will be smooth again and not so crazy!"

But instead of instilling her with glimmers of wonderful sharing and hugging moments between the boys, I showed her some of the worst meltdown moments EVER IN THE HISTORY OF MELTDOWNS.

Sigh. Every new mom needs to witness a good meltdown, right? RIGHT?


Caitlin said...

Hahaha, I can't stop laughing after reading this. I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time but oh man....

Tell your sister in law to call me. Little Dude was the most well behaved 3 year old I have ever seen at a restaurant. For real. I'll vouch for you! ;)

Miche said...

HAHAH! Thanks!! And it was a total accident that JR knocked over the blocks, otherwise I would have gotten on him as well, but JR moved some books that then resulted in other books moving and knocking over the block structure, so it really should have been a simple re-build...oh geeze. :)

Teresa said...

That was so funny and so well written! I was really laughing out loud reading it and visualizing you in that situation...btw one that EVERY mom finds herself in at one time or another! :) You're an awesome mom and I'm impressed with how you handle your boys. Don't sweat it!