Monday, September 14, 2009

The Butterflies Fly Away

My husband and I are hugely pro-life, so we have naturally talked a few times about adding to our family someday in the future through adoption. I've read some books, I've followed blogs, and I have grilled people I know that have gone through adoption.

But honestly, I have recently realized I far underestimated the effort and work it would/will take to adopt a child. Especially an older baby/child, as I just feel like we are meant to do someday. And I'm not talking about the legal work.

And no, we aren't starting an adoption process anytime soon.

But after going through the massive screaming fits of separation anxiety JR went through for the first two weeks (straight) back here in NC, it really hit me about what adoptive parents to older babies probably go through.

I couldn't even leave the room and if any family looked at him or Heaven forbid, touched him, he'd have hysterics, which was about to give me hysterics.

I started really thinking about how we could probably expect similar behavior from an adopted child, particularly one that has been hurt, abused, or just simply in an overcrowded orphanage for far too long. I've read about how the road of trusting, bonding and settling in at home can be long and hard for your children from online adoption blogs I follow, but until going through something slightly similar, I just did not quite get it. Now I think I have a little better idea.

And in no way does it make me change my mind; adoption is still something I would love to do, but I think I have definitely realized we will need our boys to be older so we will have more one on one time to give.

Because now that JR is settled, happy, and back to his sweet little self, I am really hoping I will never, ever, endure two weeks of a screaming, hysterical young toddler clawing for my lap, while an older toddler takes advantage by trying to sneak off with my toothpaste and smear it on his bed, all while I'm trying to pee......


Nell said...

I can imagine it would be a lot of work. And I'm sure God will give you the strength and patience and love to be a Mom to an older adoptive child if that is whats meant for your family.


Andrea said...

You're right, it would be one of the hardest and most rewarding things you ever did. Lots of prayer and support would be needed.
is a blog i check out time to time. This family has two boys from Africa and she's completely uncensored about the challenges and rewards they face. I think you'd really like this blog.