Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Birds don't like me

OK, so it always seems really random and odd things involving birds happen to me. For example, one time back when Bill and I were dating, a bird pooped all over me while we were out for a stroll. And not just the little white poop you might see on the ground, no, full on birdie diarrhea, all over me on one of our early dates. Nice.

Another time, Bill and I were out for our first "date" after Little Dude had been born, so we went to Bahama Breeze for appetizers and drinks before a movie. We parked the car near a beautiful magnolia tree, and as I got out I commented about how many birds I could see in the tree. Since it was rather Hitchcock-esque I should have seen what happened to me next coming; however, when the bird rammed into my head, I was still shocked. Did the bird leave me alone after that? No. It continued to peck my hand, my head, my shoulder (at this point I started screaming and running away). Did the bird bother Bill? No. All the more reason for him to laugh at me.

Another time two of my dear friends brought their beautiful South American bird to my preschool class so show it off and let the kids pet it, hear it talk, ask questions, etc. The bird is peachy cool and sweet with everyone but me. Thank goodness I was the last to touch it, as if it had bitten me before the kids got a chance to pet it 1, I wouldn't have wanted them to pet it, and 2 none of them would have wanted to pet it. But, I was last, so that was good, but the silly bird still decided my ear looked great. In defense of the bird I was wearing an earing with a banana in it (it was B day for my class...not jewelry I would normally wear, thank you.. and thus the Bird that was visiting) But still.

While I worked at Disney World's Animal Kingdom in an area near the birds, but not in the bird area, one of the birds got loose. Where did it end up? In the break area of my work location. Did I know it was there? Not til it decided my head was a great place to perch. Awesome. Even with me freaking out and people trying to get it off me, the bird didn't want to let go of my hair. Let me just say, it was more paintful than any of the bird bites I have gotten. Again, nice.

And I could keep going with random bird encounters, but I'll just go ahead and tell you what happened to me just now.

Now today, after getting back from the park, I left stuff in the car, so a little while ago I decided I should to get all of it out (stroller, picnic leftovers, etc...) While I'm unpacking, I left the door to the van open, as usual, just out of laziness and not wanting to shut and open it a million times. (It would've been like 3 in reality). Anyway, upon my second trip to the car, what happens? Bird attack. FROM THE CAR. A BIRD WAS IN MY CAR!!!!!!!!!!! It flew at my head as I leaned in to reach for Little Dude's sippy cup! (I am screaming and jumping back by this time) Then, instead of leaving the car, the tiny weeny bird decided it needed to go under one of the seats, only coming out to jump in my direction whenever I leaned in to have a look. So, all I could do was pray it would not poop on the seats or carpet, and proceeded to open all the doors and windows. I stood back and waited, and luckily the bird decided the game was over, so it took off. Now, all the doors and windows are closed again, and I am traumatized by a bird, yet again.


Andrea said...

Oh my goodness! I laughed so hard reading this blog - how funny! I would have been screaming and running around if it was in my car! I had a similar experience in my first apartment. A bird got caught in the chimney flue and I could hear it flopping around. I couldn't stand it, so I put the cats up, closed all the doors but the front door, opened the flue and ran outside. That bird went MAD flying around my apartment, knocking things over, running into glass windows...etc. It was mayham!

Also, I'm very excited about the superbowl party. Let me know if you would like some help. I can come over and help you cook! We're bringing chicken wings.

Give my Popple a hug for me!

Amy said...

So I guess this means you won't be bird-sitting for us?!! Just kidding. If the baby's a girl you could name her Robin, or Lady Bird. A boy? Jay.