From experience, I can tell you that there is nothing worse than feeling of being unwanted. When my parents walked out of my life, and decided they really didn't care to be involved in raising children anymore, it was a huge blow, even though I was certainly not a young child when it happened.
Of all the people in this world, children deserve to feel loved, safe, and wanted.
Bill and I have talked long and hard about adoption. I think I started talking to him about it before we even had Little Dude, but by the time we had JR, Bill was much more open to the idea of adding to our family through adoption.
We started looking into how it worked, and the different kinds of adoptions out there, like domestic vs international, open vs closed.
And while I won't bore you with all the searches, books, info and people I contacted to learn everything I could about everything we could expect, I will share that we really hit a wall, and realized that for many reasons, it looked like adoption wasn't going to be a road we could follow.
And I was completely heartbroken, and so upset. But, we talked, and realized that if it just wasn't going to work, there was nothing we could do, and to just accept that if God wanted it to happen, He could make it happen. Who were we, to get mad and upset, when in a snap He could make it happen, if it was meant to happen? He who created the universe, and me, and knew my heart, because He created it, would let adoption happen for us if it was meant to be.
So we backed off, and left it up to God.
And a few months later, I got a bit of a random email from a friend that mentioned a book on Pinterest.
And that book on Pinterest linked back to one of the adoption agency people I had met in my searches.
And in talking to her again, she sent me info on a special needs orphanage in one of the countries Bill and I both qualified to adopt from, and had been very much in love with the idea of adopting from.
I looked around the orphanage's facebook page and contacted them, just to see, how someone might request a specific older child.
A little boy on there had caught my eye.
The agency director contacted me back, telling me what agency we should team with, and saying that a family had already started paperwork on the little boy, but that she had a joyful toddler girl that needed a family.
And she sent me the info on an adoption agency she recommended and how to try to request matching to this specific special needs child.
And I fell in love. I showed Bill, and he fell in love, too.
So here we are. We have applied and we will be starting our home study.
And then applying for grants and assistance, because while we have saved, we don't have quite enough saved yet to bring her home right now.
But it looks like, so long as things on both sides keep going along, that we will indeed be able to have a good chance of getting matched to this little princess angel. It might not happen, but odds are good, and I am hopeful.
And we are remembering, that God will make what He wants to happen, happen. She may be meant for our family, to be the little princess we need to soften up our rough and tumble wild princes, or she may just be the guide pointing us along this path so we can meet the child that is meant for us.
We are here, we are doing it, and I am so hopeful.
***Note, we are newbies to the adoption world and we had not realized that we could not share any specific info yet, so I have updated this post to reflect that****