Mothers Day

This Mother's Day was the best ever. It really was just amazing. I woke up to my husband making french toast (and even the huge treat of him having cleaned up ALL the mess from it too! I am married to a gem, folks!)

While Bill finished up breakfast, Little Dude brought me coffee and informed me I had to lay on the couch and read.

Which I did. And it was amazing. Little Dude kept coming up and hugging me and saying:

"Thanks Mom, Happy Mother's Day" ALL DAY. It was amazing hear that tiny voice saying those word, oh my heart swelled with pride and love and gratefulness.

He's going to be a mighty fine husband to a lucky lucky lady someday. 

Then, as though that wasn't already the best day ever, my sweet little redheaded JR came running up to me and my coffee with a handful of clover flowers for me and told me:

"Happy Mother's Day! I love you!" He is just the sweetest, isn't he? And what is even better, is that he picked those flowers the DAY BEFORE while Bill mowed the lawn. He had asked Bill where he could hide them, and Bill had told him to put them in the pantry downstairs. JR was quite convinced I would see them there, and told Bill that wouldn't work. Since Bill didn't see or hear anything else about the flowers, he had assumed that JR had dropped/forgotten/left them outside.

But no. JR, all on his own, had hidden them in the picnic cooler, and went, as soon as he got out of bed, to go get them and hand them to me, all perfectly wilted in the most wonderful way, in a little plastic cup.

Oh my heart. Those were the best flowers I have ever gotten. I kept them on my counter until this morning, when I finally had to give them up for dead. But don't worry, I got plenty of photos of them (though still on my camera, ha!)

He's going to be a mighty fine husband to a lucky lucky lady someday, too. 

And Champ had no idea what was going on, but was super excited to be in on the hugging and was content to follow his brothers around as they got me things (like more coffee! When did Little Dude become a Big Dude?) And blankets (though I have to admit, I started sweating, but couldn't resist the NEXT blanket JR and Champ slowly dragged to the couch for me. They were on a mission all day to fluff me up in the couch.)

And my sweet husband? THE BEST EVER. He cleaned the house, sat with the on the couch and read next to me, and later indulged me on a walk up to the park and around back to the local coffee shop. (I may have a slight addiction to coffee...) We all played at the park, and napped in the hammock, and watched the kids play in our yard and watched the clouds float by. He said:

"I hope this is what Heaven is like". Oh my heart. I am so lucky and blessed to have these four amazing men in my life. I know I say it every year, but this really was the best Mother's Day ever.

A wonderful husband, three healthy amazing loving boys, and one super sweet beautiful girl in Ind*a. I am one crazy blessed and lucky Mom, indeed.

It Will All Be Clear

Tomorrow should be lovely and the kids are out of school, so we will be spending the morning at the park playing games and meeting up with friends. I'm excited to just relax a bit and not worry about anything or going anywhere.

This whole week has been wrapped in worry about our Princess, but also in stress getting dossier item ordered and together, looking at the super long list of things I need to get in order and just wishing that I could wish them into existence, ha! And we have been pouring over grant applications like crazy, writing and re-writing essays to hopefully get some kind of money awards to  help offset costs.

But, on the upside, with all the stress we have done this week, we also threw in organizing our budget to minuscule detail (something one of our grants required anyway) AND guess what? We have arranged our budget so that we have all but $11,000 of the adoption fees covered on our own.

How super awesome is that? And over the next two years, we could have the $11,000 saved-though we are praying hard some grants come in so that we don't have to take out loans for it-but it is nice to think that we could try to finance, borrow and beg that last bit, and have it paid back to everyone within a two year period.

That makes me so excited, and I don't even care everything we are tossing out of the budget to give us the extra money. It is completely worth it.

On non adoption notes; Champ is talking now-and talking up a storm, as the saying goes. He also has mastered climbing out of his crib. Oh my, how time flies.

Goodbye 2012

Somehow, the 21st is already here! Thankfully, the end of the world ended up not occurring, haha! Though that does remind me that I need to get back to couponing so I can restock my pantry; I have been trying hard to cut back our budget as much as possible and putting every little bit extra into our adoption fund. So, I guess that can be my new years resolution-hunt down grocery sales! Because, you know, these boys just keep eating and eating and eating.....and making me wish I had their metabolism! It must be all the super hero fighting they do:

In other news, the school year is half over! Crazy! I have to register JR for kindergarten the second week of January; that just blows my mind. Didn't I JUST sign him up for preschool? And he is already writing his letters, starting to read sight words, and becoming just the most wonderful, sweet little man.

The other night he mentioned he wanted to dye his hair blonde like AJ's. It hurt my heart a bit to think he hated his hair, and I don't know if I handled it well or not, but I told him. that if he wanted his hair blonde, that when he got old enough to have it dyed I'd take him to do it-and I told him that I would probably dye my hair his red color, because I think it is such an awesome color like fire. He seemed quite pleased with that. Did I handle that OK? I have no idea, but at least he seemed pretty happy his hair was like fire-and he seemed happy thinking that he could change the color if he wanted. Maybe just knowing he could change it, will make him not as unhappy with the color he has? I know that some people have called him "ginger" and he hates that so much, so I am thinking that might be the source of why he wants to be blonde...but I don't know; next week he may decide red is the most awesome ever.

Little Dude is certainly a little dude now. He just seems so much like a little man these days. He is wise and sweet and so incredibly smart. We hung some ornaments on our Christmas Tree from India, in honor of Princess, and Little Dude asked if she would be scared or sad to leave her friends there and come here. We told him yes, since that is the truth, and explained that we would have to show her that she can trust us and love us, and that we will be her family forever-because right now, even though she has her friends and knows everyone, she doesn't have parents to take care of her, and look after her, or brothers to play legos with. He cried saying he didn't want her to be scared and that he would help make her feel peace.

Is he not the sweetest? Oh that broke my heart to hear him express concern for Princess's transition to our home.

Champ is growing by leaps and bounds. He loves Bill's truck, and says 'Daddy truck vroom vroom all the time" SO cute! I keep trying to catch him on video, but every time he stops talking and just looks at me. Eventually I'll catch him talking!

In overall news, last week there as a school shooting in Newtown CT-20 kindergarteners were killed my a crazy guy with a gun. On the Friday it happen, as soon as I learned about it, I took Little Dude out of school at 2 and we all got icecream. My heart broke watching all my boys play and thinking of the families who were running to that school looking for their children. This morning, there were police guarding his school with guns outside. The sight made my heart stop and I had to take some deep breaths to brightly and calmly tell Little Dude I loved him and have a great day. Seeing those police made me want to do nothing else but drive back home with all my boys and just cry. It is terrifying to realize I can't keep them safe, 24/7. And, playing on that fear, there was a radio ad I heard while driving back home, for a backpack company now selling bullet proof backpacks for kids.

But, enough sad stuff. This year, overall has been amazing. It is hard to realize that we started our research into adopting from Princess's country more than a year ago-and this coming March it will be an official year since we started the first of our adoption paper work. My, a year is going by quickly! And hopefully, the next year brings us lots of grant money, lots of blessings, and somehow, gets me through all the paperwork gathering for our dossier.

I'm really NOT looking forward to getting all those documents gathered and notarized and apostilled. But I am SO MUCH looking forward to using my passport, which came in the mail today.

My nice, new, UPDATED to married name, passport is now here. I'm ready to travel and go get our Princess. I'm so excited to see if we are blessed with her in 2013!

Somehow God Knows

So this blog is turning more into an adoption blog rather than a family blog-I promise to fix that soon. I need to download some photos from my camera and get them on here to share, along with sweet stories of what the boys are up to now.

Everyday is amazing, yet simple and mundane. We go to school, we do chores, we eat, we do homework...and somehow in that mix, amazing things are happening as our children grown and we grow watching them. It is the everyday, but it is wonderful.

For our adoption news, Bill and I are still waiting to hear if our homestudy has been approved-I'm really hoping we hear soon, but I'll let go of that.

In other adoption news, I wrote recently how nervous Bill and I were after reading and studying up on the "worst case" issues of attachment, mental health, and all that such stuff that is just so up in the air with any adoption.

And we have been really talking about if we are ready-can we do this? What if she is a worst case, what do we do?

And we prayed, and I spent hours finding local therapists with experience in international toddler adoption (though sadly I couldn't find any with specific India experience, but international toddler adoption mental health issues at least have to be somewhat similar, I guess).

So armed with those, we have just been praying that we don't ever need to use them, or call them for help. And then, a couple we met through our adoption agency, who are also adopting a sweet little girl from India-and from the same orphanage our sweet Princess is at, had the opportunity to come over for dinner.

And they have actually been to India, and met our sweet Princess many times, and they showed us some videos of her that had me working really REALLY hard not to cry.

Because watching her, made me SO BADLY want to scoop her out of the orphanage, out of the mass of kids there, and bring her here to our home, to her room, and celebrate Halloween with us. It hit us so hard, watching her, that we are doing the right thing and that everything is going to be fine. Hearing stories about her at least help to indicate there aren't any blatant issues to be worried about-and that her attachment to her caregiver is strong. Which is good, since is shows she can trust and places trust, but also sad, since she will be devastated to lose her caregiver.

Thank goodness for the internet, right? We will always be able to look up the orphanage, or maybe even skype, and send photos and letters, and keep in touch. And I have hundreds of photos already of her orphanage, caregivers there, and of her and her friends that I plan to put into a detailed book for her, so she can see them any time. I also plan to print out and frame the photo of her and her caregiver for Princess's room.

But somehow, God knew, we needed a little help keeping motivated, and to keep going forward and shake off our fears. To just TRUST that we are doing the right thing and that we can handle it. He knew, and he let our path cross this sweet couple's path, and I am so grateful we got to see her, and hear her giggles (she is certainly the giggle machine I can turn into at a lame joke; I'm so excited about that!)

The boys got to see her and hear her too, and it looked like love at first sight. JR was completely smitten and has since been pointing out toys in the big catalog that came for Christmas what we need to get for Princess. Champ started smiling so huge when we watched Princess laughing, and Little Dude actually seems pretty wise about the situation she is in and points out that we could put two more kids in our home, since the empty room could easily have bunkbeds, so maybe we need to bring two kids home. I love him and his sweet heart so much.

We had not shared much yet with them about her, since we still were so unsure about getting matched to her, but now, it looks like we should be good, with almost certain chance of getting matched to her because of her special needs, the area she is in, and our amazing agency.

And apparently our Princess LOVES tickles, which made Bill super happy, since he is always trying to tickle me and the boys and we all hate it. Bill will finally have a kid that loves to be tickled :)

Every time we have felt defeated, scare, or questioning by the whole adoption process, God has put someone in our paths that keeps our hearts focused on bringing our Princess home.

Four Years

Four Years ago, Bill and I were having maternity photos taken. They were my birthday present and I was so excited. Little Dude; however, was not, but we did finally get some really wonderful photos of the three of us and my growing belly.

And soon after, this little guy decided to come WAY early:

My water had broken, and we were scared. After a stay in the NICU though, with some super awesome nurses, our JR came home at 5lbs 15 oz. He was so super tiny, that the newborn clothes his brother had never been small enough to wear were too big on him. We got his tiny tiny hands and feet printed on a framed card that still hangs in my office.

JR's birth had scared me so badly, but in the end, we were lucky for everything to turn OK and  perfect. And now, JR is a strong, tough, smart, inventive guy with a shy streak and the biggest hugs and greatest smiles:



We blinked and four years went by. JR is such  joy and I love hearing his little voice asking for an apple, even if it is right after dinner has been eaten. You can see some of my favorite photos of JR during years one, two and three, too!

Happy Birthday, my little pumpkin.

I Came To Win, To Fight, To Conqure, To Thrive

Champ at the Park, loving the Swing. 

So much has been going on these past 6 months since my last post. A lot, and then at the same time, not that much that seemed "worthy" of writing about.

The boys, Little Dude and JR are in soccer now and loving it. I'm loving that our Saturdays are spent cheering them on, there really is no where else or anything else I'd rather be. Their huge smiles as they run for water at half time and look over to see if we are watching-I love those mid game waves, even if it means they completely miss the ball rolling right in front of them.

I just laugh inside, and smile and cheer and wave back.

Yes, we are here, watching, and we are so proud of you, always.


School starts for Little Dude in August, and already my heart hurts thinking about not seeing him ALL DAY. But, like in Nemo, I need to just smile and tell him to have a great adventure.

That is what this parenting is all about, right? Letting them have grand adventures, and knowing we will always stand in the shadows, cheering them on.

Champ is starting to walk and has the cutest way of doing raspberries all through church. We make all the old people on our little side area crack up.

He can also say "uh oh" quite well and in the cutest sing song voice. I love it, even if it does mean that there is actually something to say uh oh about-yes, he uses it correctly. Usually when a mess has been made.

We are pursing adoption, finally, after many years of thinking about it, talking about it, and finding reasons that it wouldn't work financially, Will and I have really felt a tug and desire to at least try and see what happens. I have faith that somehow, financially, it will all work out.

God has the power to create the universe, so I know that if we are truly meant to adopt then somehow, things will continue to fall into place for us.

We are looking at adopting a sweet little special needs child from India. She is the same age as Champ, and has a similar smile-huge and wide, and she also has tons of teeth, just like him.

Things are falling into place in the most amazing and scary of ways-to the point that we have decided that we really are being called to bring this little girl to our home.

I'm actually waiting on a call from our adoption agency today to discuss her more and what our process will be in requesting a specific child, as opposed to just getting in the general line. It helps us tons that she is listed as special needs, though her needs are actually far more minimal, according to her orphanage director whom I've already spoken with, than her file indicates.

And there are so many other signs -like how I even got in contact with the orphanage director out of the blue from a friend's email.

So much falling into place, making this all feel like we have to pursue it, and just see what happens.

So, we are starting the process, with much excitement and apprehension, so see if we turn our family of five into a family of six.

and that, my friends, is all that is going on in our little neck of the world. Pray that we are patiently able to follow God's plan, regardless of that meaning we adopt a little girl, or just have to wait to see what is to be revealed.

Where I Was

For some reason, the 10th anniversary of 9/11 has been more important to me; more meaningful somehow. Not that others weren't, but I suppose I looked at all of those anniversaries as more of a "We made it! This far!" kind of anniversaries.

This one, the first one with Bin Ladin dead, just hits me as overwhelmingly sad.

Now that I'm a mom to three little guys, I have made many many trips to visit fire fighters and I am seeing the anniversary a bit differently.

I've realized that when I watched the second plane hit the other tower, that I watched not just people die, but mothers, fathers, sons and daughters.

I had just gotten out of class super early because the teacher was sick, and I thought my luck couldn't get any better when I strolled through the brickyard to grab breakfast, and realized there was NO LINE for food. I obliviously got in the empty line and picked out food, not realizing until it came time to pay, that everyone, including the food staff, were clustered around the tvs.

I remember putting the food down and coming over to see that there had been a horrible accident, that a plane had just crashed into one of the twin towers. Then, as the tv reporter talked about the confusion and lack of details from air traffic control, we all watched, in shock, as a second plane appeared on the tv screen and careened into the second tower.

I remember the silence in that usually packed and noisy student center. I remember the one girl next to me holding my arm and starting to cry.

I remember the tv changing the headline to "America Under Attack". I remember the reporter's voice cracking as he asked if there was more information as the news of the Pentagon came flooding in.

In a quiet terror I walked alone back to my apartment and watched tv with my roomies, all of us glued to the news, in shock that we were under attack from a foe that would attack normal citizens on their way to work.

10 years alter, I realize, that maybe someday, if my sons continue their passion for fire fighters, maybe one day, they will be running into a building that is collapsing, just in the hope of saving one of those mothers, fathers, sons and daughters.

This year I am just so very sad about it all, but I also see how this anniversary is a celebration of heroics and bravery, from not just firefighters and police, but from us all.

We have survived 10 years of facing a hidden foe. Of fighting a war that really can't be fought or won. Fighting someone that doesn't "fight fair". There is no exact military targets or armies to face. The "bad guys" aren't in uniform for us to pick out. They don't care if women and children and babies are the subjects of their attacks.

It has been 10 years, but more than any other anniversary, for me it feels like I just walked back to my apartment and finally grasped that the things falling out of the twin towers were mothers, fathers, sons and daughters.

Tangled

I know, I still need to upload my July month photos of the boys AND Champ's 3 month photo. I do have them, they are just on my camera still, and I am just always forgetting to grab the camera from my purse and upload the photos.

Anyways, what have I been up to lately? What is my excuse for not uploading super cute photos of the boys?

The Social Security Office.

I'm telling you, that place is Hell on Earth. Yes, caps are needed, too. I just spent another 3 hours of my life waiting in line, and 2 hours before that on the phone, just to make sure I had everything I needed for getting Champ's social security number.

Apparently though, 2 hours on the phone and 3 in a line filling out paper work-all the while with a security officer making you change seats and move around WITH THREE KIDS all in tow-are just not enough minutes of my life. They apparently want more.

Evidently, even though I ASKED WHAT PAPERWORK I NEEDED, and spent another 2 hours earlier this morning at vital records and the doctor office to get the said papers I needed, I did not have everything, because their policies have JUST CHANGED and the idiot I talked to before chasing down all the certified, stamped, sealed, crap-ola paper work didn't remember to tell me that NOW I must also have an insurance card with the child's name on it.

Cause, you know, that proves the child is alive. As a birth certificate, immunization records, and sealed biography/life records form his doctor doesn't. OH, and the fact HE WAS THERE WITH ME and I had my driver's license and passport.

And you know the whole reason I am needing to chase down a social security card? BECAUSE I WANT TO ADD CHAMP TO OUR INSURANCE-AND THUS GET AN INSURANCE CARD WITH HIS NAME ON IT.

Shoot me now.

And you know why I even have to jump through all these hoops and spend days dragging kids all over down town? Because somehow Champ's social security card/number got lost between the Federal side and State side of processing. So, right now, he is halfway processed, and there is a flag on his account saying he had a number, but because everything wasn't transferred between the agencies correctly he now needs to apply for a NEW number.

So, instead of just applying for a first time number, as the hospital did for us with simply submission of his birth certificate, NOW I have to have a stupid crazy amount of certified documentation to prove he is alive and a US Citizen.

Seriously, shoot me now, because I have already pulled out my hair into a tangled mess. AND I have to continue this stupid paper chase tomorrow or Thursday.

Can someone just direct me to a nice Latino* that could hook me up with a social security card? I would probably be able to get Champ's original card number that way, since apparently all his info is just floating around out there between Federal and State Hell.




*My grandma is Latino, so don't say I am hating anyone; I'm just speaking from experience. Most Latinos I personally know could hook me up with fake id in two blinks of an eye, and I am THIS CLOSE to just buying a card off one of them instead of facing the social security Line Of Hell again. And yes, bold caps were needed.

Raising Sons

I'm really quite amazed an entire month has gone by, and I haven't really found the time to blog much. Honestly, I am blogging now only because I felt I should have more than one post under June!

Anyways, here are some quick updates:

The boys are all getting huge. HUGE, I'm telling you! How in the world did that happen? Champ is starting to move around on his back, and no longer stays in one place now....I am going to have to start figureing out the baby gate situation quickly. What did other people do with kids and babies and stairs? I hate to trap the big ones up stairs and have them needing me every second to open/close it for them (and I'm scared they either won't close it OR they will try to climb it...ahhh!)

In the past with babies and crawling, early walking times, we lived out of town in apartments/ one story houses for Will's job....so I have yet to really need to master baby gates.....now with number three being HERE in our split level entry house...I am quite wondering how to set it up.

If you have brilliant thoughts, please share them.

Other updates include that Little Dude is going to start soccer camp in a few weeks-I am really excited for him to get some kind of energy sapping activity going. I'm not sure if we will sign up JR yet or not, I might see how he feels and maybe do another session in the fall with him while Little Dude is in preschool. We shall see. JR will be doing a little preschool baseball weekend session and we are all quite excited about that.

It has suddenly gotten super hot here and I am trying to come up with fun things to do that don't require me seating like crazy, since the kids don't seem to notice. I think there will be many future visits to museums.

In the cloth diapering world, the cloth wipes I am trying out is going great. I am actually really liking just throwing the wipes in the wash as well, and not having to keep them separate, etc. I got some great bottom cleaner spray, called CJ's Carcass Cleaner (nice name, eh?) and used an old body spray bottle (and old one from Bath and Body Works) and I am doing the dry method of wipes. So I take my baby wash cloth or infant diaper insert (those are working GREAT as wipes, by the way) spray down Champs bum, wipe away, and toss everything my wet bag til wash day. For super poops I spray the cloth AND his bum, but so far we have only had one. I think my cleaning spray will last a super long time too. I also got CJ's Bottom Butter in the sea spice scent and it SMELLS SO GOOD. I use some even though he hasn't had any diaper rash as of yet, just because it makes him smell so wonderful.

So far, having a house full of boys is extremely fun. It is usually a super hero, treasure hunting, saving the world kind of day around here, and I love how serious they get about fighting bad guys.

Last week we had JR's birthday party and it was all super hero themed-Oh the kids all had such a great time! I will put on pictures of JR in his batman cape and mask; it is really just too awesome. Little Dude is loving JR's Captain America shield and mask, so I am going to hunt down a Captain America cape on etsy for Little Dude's birthday. Don't tell him though :)

I am also already training them to hold the door for me (and all ladies) and making sure they understand that they can't ever hit a little lady, even if she DOES bite you. I am constantly reminding them they are gentlemen and must act that way.

My sons' future dates can all thank me, as the boys mostly do act like gentlemen to all our little lady friends. I can't; however, be blamed for the toliet seat, I am convinced forgetting to put it down is just a genetic makeup for boys; just be thankful they pee IN it.

So, that is all that is going on here. Beyond keeping the kids alive, trying to put laundry away so Bill thinks I'm productive, and keeping up with my paying job, I really don't have much time to blog as I would like.

An Empty Nest

So last weekend, Bill and I got to go have an adult weekend, while the kids stayed with his parents.

It was wonderful and awesome to be "adults" again. We hit up some bars, hung out with kid-free friends again, and stayed up late-like back in college late-way past my current 9pm bedtime late!

And it was awesome.

But Sunday, as we waited for the kids to come back from Grandma's, I had a glimpse of the future and I didn't like it.

The kids were gone. The house was empty.

Though it was wonderful to spend time with just Bill-and I think that every couple needs that now and then (in fact, I think we will be doing it again around Bill's birthday). BUT, being in the quiet house, not breaking up a toy fight, and not hearing hysterical giggles every few minuets made me kinda sad.

I think I'm going to be that mom that really misses her kids, even when they are 30, so I'll be bugging them to come for visits. I'm hoping that they want to visit often.

I also think that now, when my in laws are wanting a visit, I won't be sighing and trying to find an empty day on the calendar. I see now; they MISS us and those visits are now terribly important to me; they are well deserving of knocking aside other plans. Because I know, that soon enough, I will be hoping for similar visits from my kids, when my house becomes much to quiet and their days are much too busy.

Do You Have A Licence for That Light Saber?

Little Dude is slightly obsessed with Star Wars right now. Everything, including food, can transform into a light saber; we've had a few talks about how food can't be a light saber, no matter how powerful his imagination.

Food is for eating. I find myself saying that an awful lot, but I digress.

For the past month or so, Star Wars has been a daily activity here, so much so that just yesterday JR-who is not even 2 yet-was walking around with a toy broom making light saber sounds. "Vmmmmm, Bvmmmmm Shooosh Vmmmmm". Oh yes, the kid is just now starting to talk-when he feels like it, I might add-but he knows how a light saber works. And he can say BLUE when you ask him what color is light saber is. He already picked up on Blue being the color of choice for his brother.

So with all this playing, you would think we had seen the movies a million times, right?

Wrong.

We had not seen the movies even once with the kids. Everything Little Dude and JR know about Star Wars they learned from the neighborhood boys. In fact, the whole reason we decided to watch them was because Little Dude was starting to make up his own plot line to the story and I couldn't figure out what a Tarn Tarn was.

We have made it through the first two and I'm actually looking forward to watching the third (we are talking the original three here) because I think the boys will really dig the bears. I know they are called something else, but that word escapes me at the moment; you know what I mean.

So for the time being, my family is made up of Darth Vader, played by Bill, Princess Leia, played by me, Luke, played by Little Dude and either Yoda aka "O-da" or another Luke, played by JR.

Oh yes, we are quite the characters.

Just Breathe

I've never really thought of my life as one to be envied-after all, everyday is just so normal. Playdough, parks, tantrums (from the kids AND me) and poop that got where? There are endless loads of dishes and laundry that I SUCK at keeping up with-really, just ask my husband. I have sweeping, ironing-which I actually enjoy, go figure-and never-ending amounts of peanut butter sandwiches and boo boo kisses given out on a daily basis.

It has always seemed to me like my life is great-but not really anything I expected others to covet-or even say they were envious of-I mean, after all, I get pooped or peed on as a regular part of my day.

Walking with an old friend yesterday opened my eyes to just how lucky I am to be a mom-to have this opportunity to raise the amazing people God trusted to me and to be a partner and support beam to my wonderful husband.

Though my days are super long and go by in a blur-ending with me falling into bed at night, I need to remember just how precious, special, and lucky this charge of motherhood is. I need to take more time to soak up and enjoy the little things, instead of worrying or getting stressed.

And another thing I learned from my friend? I need to be run more-being out of breath after a walk is just, well, embarrassing. Especially if I have any hope of finishing the mother's day 5K I want to do.....

Being Noble

What is being noble? It is something I want to teach my children, but honestly, it is hard to convey what it is.

It's doing what is right. It is standing up for the weak, protecting the hurt, seeing and reaching for the good in others. It is finding the best in everything and sharing that wisdom with others.

How do you teach that?

I was talking to a dear friend of mine earlier this week, and she mentioned she hoped her adopted daughter would never feel abandoned by her birth mom. And that statement struck me pretty hard, because more than likely, at some point, that dear, beautiful child probably will feel that pain and hurt-especially since her birth mom has seemingly decided to cut off contact.

But at the same time, I realized, though it stinks that their child may not ever see or meet the birth mom, I know that my friends will be teaching about what a noble, strong, selfless act the birth mom chose by giving life, and how very much their child is loved by all of them.

It would have been easier for the birth mom to "un do" her mistake with an abortion. It would have been easier for her to not have to tell her parents, or boyfriend. And from what I understand, the birth mom had no support, the parents threatened to kick her out of their home, the boy friend left, and she was all alone.

But somehow, she was strong enough to do what was right. To take responsibility for unprotected sex, and give life to the lovely person that was created. To me, that is the most noble act a person can do.

Even though I am not sure how to do it, I hope I can teach my children to be noble like that birth mom.

This is the season of Lent, which, for me, is very important since we are Catholic. During Lent, we celebrate the 40 Days For Life by increasing efforts to help young women who are considering abortion.

One service I will be volunteering with is Birth Choice in Raleigh-they help young people find a way to avoid abortion, either through help to keep the child or help to find adoptive parents, as well as counseling and help through Project Rachel for those who have had an abortion. If you have baby items you no longer need, consider donating them to The Gabriel Project, which offers support to help mom throughout raising her child.

****This is completely my opinion. If you happen to be a pro-abortion person, I welcome the commentary; however, please remember to keep it all friendly or I will remove your comments. :) ****

LIttle Boy Blue

So everyone knows we had a huge house of sick here last week and some of the week before. And after a few days, everyone was better, except JR.

In fact, JR just kept getting worse. His diarrhea got worse, his eating went down, and even thought he was active, he just wasn't quite himself.

While we were at the doctor's, the boys were found to have double ear infections, so both are still on meds for that-however; JR is allergic to what is normally given, so he got a different med.

And somehow everyone failed to mention that the new med would cause him diarrhea.

So, on top of having the tummy virus, he also was on meds that would increase his diarrhea. But of course, since I didn't know what, I was freaking out and very concerned.

We were all set to go to the doctor yesterday afternoon, when yesterday morning, I noticed JR was turning blue. He was breathing fine, and walking around and playing like normal-but his lips were a deep, dark blue, and his hands and legs had a blue tent. He was also cool to the touch, whereas the other two kids were warm. (We were running errands when this happened, so I couldn't check his temp)

So, off we rushed to the hospital-and then found out that his oxygen was good, but his core temp was lower than it should have been. After a lot of exams there weren't many answers, but the culprit seems to be that he was dehydrated.

Que the mommy guilt.

Even though we did have him drinking electrolytes, it wasn't enough to make up for what he had lost -and at this point I found out he was over his virus, but now everything was caused by the medication he was on.

So, another new medication, some pro biotics medication to replace the good bacteria in his tummy that the other medicine had killed (and which is why he was having diarrhea) and a ton of electrolyte drink. I have seriously been forcing the drinks on him; I have no desire to see him turn blue again.

And that concludes my day yesterday.

Oh, and earlier in the day I found out I need reading glasses, which will be coming in a week in a half! That I am actually excited about, because working has been giving me huge headaches and it turns out my eyes were just working too hard looking at the computer screen. Now I just have to come up with an idea on how to keep up with them, since I will only need them for reading....

The Color Green

I'm feeling rather green today, and not in the best of ways. Green, usually, is a color I love, but today, I am rather embarrassed to be green.

You see, because I am a tiny bit jealous.

Actually, I am quite green with envy.

The Internet is pretty amazing, and I love it; however, today, I "ran into" an old classmate's writing on the Internet, which lead me to her blog, which then lead me to read all about the amazing writing and traveling career she has lead since I last saw her.

She's been to Ireland, Europe, India, China and Hungry. She's been on the red carpet (Yes, THAT Red Carpet). She travels all over whenever the moment strikes her. She's an editor for an amazing magazine that I love to read when I have the free time in the checkout line and the kids are being good. She has done amazing interviews with writers and authors I love reading and she wears amazing high heels to after-work functions. She has written some books and been published in newspapers.

And even though I am quite happy (and really quite overjoyed) to have children and be here at home, a tiny part of me is a little envious of the life she has; the life I gave up when I decided to stay home with kids.

Not that I would be an editor, or traveling, or writing books, but those were my goals, way back when I was in school. And perhaps, someday when the kids don't need me as much (that does happen, doesn't it? ) I can start working on those goals, again.

I'll have the time to write for fun, and work on putting down some of the stories that have swirled in my head for a number of years. Or maybe I'll get brave enough to submit some writing to a magazine or newspaper.

Or perhaps even just brush up on my English grammar and spelling rules, 'cause Lord knows my mind is a bunch of mush right now. Probably the same mush the kids turned their sandwiches into when they decided it was great fun to dump their orange juice on their plates.

Maybe?

But then.

Watching the kids attempt to clean up (and being oh so sweet and helping each other spread the mess around) makes me so happy I gave up other options-for them and me. Because I benefit dramatically, as well, from having them with me.

Somehow, I don't think all that traveling, interviewing, writing and fabulous shopping would be quite so fun, if I had to miss out on all of this fun.

So, I guess I am only just a little green now, and that is OK, we all encounter those moments now and then, right? All that does matter, is that nothing would make me trade what I have for anything else.

Because even if at first it may not seem like it (even to me) I do, actually, have it all.