Adoption Scares

We have started the adoption journey rather slowly-in fact, we are STILL waiting to find out if our application to even adopt the waiting child we are trying to adopt has been approved.....and we did our application a good month ago.

So, I guess it is good practice for all the waiting that will be coming up, eh?

Anyways, in the meantime, I have been reading everything and anything about adoption of toddlers, since our little Princess will be just over 2 1/2 by the time we can go get her. That is, IF the timeline goes as quickly as our agency predicted, once we finally hear if we are approved. It might be only 10 months once we find out if we are approved, since she is a waiting child with moderate special needs, but then, most people seem to have had a few years of waiting, so who knows, right?

But, back to what I have been reading. Our agency has a book list they recommend, so I have been going through the entire list one by one. Most have been so inspiring to read, like Orphanology, and others sound like they were written by spoiled brats, like Twenty Things Adoptive Kids With Their Adoptive Parents Knew, and then others, like Toddler Adoption, have me scared.

Like seriously scared.


There are SO many things I had not thought about toddler adoption. Like attachment issues, and discipline that normally works for toddlers apparently isn't good for the newly adopted toddler-like time out. And independence isn't a good sign. And you want them to grieve, but you want them to be able to say goodbye and see their caregiver give approval of you, so they can then attach to you....what if that doesn't happen?

What if we have a child that won't attach?

The author has a ton of ideas and tips on how to approach it, but the thought is actually overwhelming-especially since this author indicated that older toddlers-like 2 to 4-have the worst time of forming a new attachment, especially if they have never attached to anyone before.

So while I am waiting to hear from our agency today (fingers crossed) if our application is approved or not, and that we are clear to start our homestudy, I will just be trying to wrap my head around the worst case scenario of what our Princess might have been through, and how her behavior will be.

It is really scary to think about our child hating us and wanting to hurt us, but I think we are up to the challenge. I think we can help her trust us.

I think. And hope.


*and just so you know, the "Twenty things..." book did have some really good points to make, but overall the author's personal stories had the tone of a very spoiled, over indulged child blaming all her life mistakes on the fact she was adopted, when to me, it seemed like most of her issues and mistakes as an adult and teen resulted from a lack of directional discipline from parents that instead gave into and feed her every whim. I don't quite agree with her that someone adopted as a newborn is going to have a primal wound that will never heal.....I think a child's reaction to their adoption has to do very much with how open and age appropriate the parents are with sharing information and allowing periods of grief at stages of life, but still treating that child as a child you must rise into an empathetic, loving, strong and self sufficient adult. *

Where I Was

For some reason, the 10th anniversary of 9/11 has been more important to me; more meaningful somehow. Not that others weren't, but I suppose I looked at all of those anniversaries as more of a "We made it! This far!" kind of anniversaries.

This one, the first one with Bin Ladin dead, just hits me as overwhelmingly sad.

Now that I'm a mom to three little guys, I have made many many trips to visit fire fighters and I am seeing the anniversary a bit differently.

I've realized that when I watched the second plane hit the other tower, that I watched not just people die, but mothers, fathers, sons and daughters.

I had just gotten out of class super early because the teacher was sick, and I thought my luck couldn't get any better when I strolled through the brickyard to grab breakfast, and realized there was NO LINE for food. I obliviously got in the empty line and picked out food, not realizing until it came time to pay, that everyone, including the food staff, were clustered around the tvs.

I remember putting the food down and coming over to see that there had been a horrible accident, that a plane had just crashed into one of the twin towers. Then, as the tv reporter talked about the confusion and lack of details from air traffic control, we all watched, in shock, as a second plane appeared on the tv screen and careened into the second tower.

I remember the silence in that usually packed and noisy student center. I remember the one girl next to me holding my arm and starting to cry.

I remember the tv changing the headline to "America Under Attack". I remember the reporter's voice cracking as he asked if there was more information as the news of the Pentagon came flooding in.

In a quiet terror I walked alone back to my apartment and watched tv with my roomies, all of us glued to the news, in shock that we were under attack from a foe that would attack normal citizens on their way to work.

10 years alter, I realize, that maybe someday, if my sons continue their passion for fire fighters, maybe one day, they will be running into a building that is collapsing, just in the hope of saving one of those mothers, fathers, sons and daughters.

This year I am just so very sad about it all, but I also see how this anniversary is a celebration of heroics and bravery, from not just firefighters and police, but from us all.

We have survived 10 years of facing a hidden foe. Of fighting a war that really can't be fought or won. Fighting someone that doesn't "fight fair". There is no exact military targets or armies to face. The "bad guys" aren't in uniform for us to pick out. They don't care if women and children and babies are the subjects of their attacks.

It has been 10 years, but more than any other anniversary, for me it feels like I just walked back to my apartment and finally grasped that the things falling out of the twin towers were mothers, fathers, sons and daughters.

Time And Again

How in the world has December almost gone by without me finding the time for a single post? Wow. I really can not believe it is the 20th already! That just seems crazy to me. Time has certainly come up on me way too quickly this year!

For a baby update, our little Champ is growing perfectly, kicking and moving tons, and likes to scare me with sudden, hard jabs. It is pretty fun being at this point; I love feeling him moving and growing.

My varicose veins are doing horribly though, so while I will miss being pregnant when this one is over, I will also be happy and relived, as I am not sure I can handle the veins getting any worse. Apparently they get worse and more painful with each pregnancy-not sure, but I think it will take a super long time and lots of memory loss for me to want to take on this pain again. Let alone if it keeps getting worse at the same rate it has with each pregnancy...that thought makes me cringe.

But we will see. In 3 years when this guy is saying bye and wanting to go to school I might decide the pain isn't too bad and decide we need another baby....we shall see.

On a Christmas update, Christmas is ALMOST here!! WOW! I am so crazy excited. Since the boys can't read yet, I'm safe to say they are getting what they asked Santa for. JR is getting a bike and Little Dude is getting a trick scooter. Supposedly you can do jumps with it-not sure I want him doing that yet, but I'm prepared with all the safety gear, and hopefully he won't be able to do any jumps for a few more years. I can't wait for the kids to open their gifts!!

Starting mid January I won't be watching Emily anymore, as we get ready for the baby to come. I'm really sad about that; she has been so fun to have around. I just bought some new sparkly red nail polish so I can make sure we have one last "manicure" moment together. Sigh, girly stuff is just so fun to do with her. I am hoping it works out that I can watch her again after the baby comes, but we will see with that, too. I'm sure it will be crazy enough with three boys, let alone adding a fourth to the mix all day as well. We will see.

We will see-that has certainly been my motto here lately. It goes for Bill's job as well. We have been a bit nervous, as the construction industry just has not been strong lately; hopefully they will land some work, and if not, hopefully he will still be employed until the baby comes. I don't even want to think of what kind of insurance nightmare it would be to try to change things just before the baby comes.

With work, I have been SO super busy-and that partly is why I have not been able to make it to my own blog much. I am glad we have been busy, but I am again nervous about how having the baby will force me to back off on my hours; especially if Bill gets another pay cut or gets laid off...but then, we will see.

So, the new year has many unknowns for us, as well as many exciting changes that are coming. I know if we just trust in God's plan and leave ourselves open to His ideas, then many great things will happen, even if we don't understand-or even like-what it takes to get to them.

Children

I love having kids-love it like crazy-but there are moments when it is really hard.

Like when I am trying to work and everyone wants to sit in my lap. It is incredibly hard to type copy when everyone is in my lap.

Or when I FINALLY get to sit down and eat, everyone comes running wanting some of my food, because, after all, they didn't get enough just a few minutes before at their lunch. This is the reason all the baby weigh has come off-I just never get to eat a meal.

Or like when all three go bonkers on me when we are running errands. That is always awesome, because then everyone is looking at me and I feel pressure to do something, though I have no idea what....I sometimes wish the people staring at me as all three run circles around the grocery cart would just tell me what they want me to do, or else move along their business.

And like, when sometimes, the kids grab stuff from the counter, resulting in strawberries and strawberry JUICE all over the dinning room carpet, or pour syrup all over the table and chairs, or somehow get green finger pain on the couches. (And miraculously, baby wipes got all of that clean...)I yelled a lot strawberry disaster day . And then felt so incredibly guilty afterward (especially after it all came clean with some scrubbing) that I got the kids ice cream.

On the flip side though?

None of that matters. Who cares if my house is messy, or the kids are covered in dirt and eating something that looks like a worm?

The snuggles, the kisses, pleases and thank yous, and the little voices and toys scattered everywhere; that is what matters and makes all the crazy parts melt away.

Eventually these years will pass, and busy teens will take over, so even as I sigh with exhaustion, I have to remember how lucky I am and how wonderful these years are.

Even when the crazy parts include coloring the wall with permanent marker.

Rolling Eyes

Little Dude has been showing a little attitude lately-not all the time,and nothing horrible, but just enough to irratate Bill and me a bit.

This morning we were talking about the kids and laughing at their latest antics, when I brought up how Little Dude has started sighing and rolling his eyes when he gets annoyed.

Then to my annoyance, Bill started laughing.

Because, he said, Little Dude was ME.

It seems, unbeknown to me, that I sigh and look to heaven when I get annoyed.

So, today, I am making an extra effort to make sure I DON'T let myself get annoyed and behave like that, because, surely if it irritates me to see Little Dude do it, it must irritate others when I do it to them, right? And if I have ever done it to you, I SWEAR I didn't realize I was doing it and I am sorry.

Yet another lesson I have learned from my kids.

And a good note to me-I must remember little eyes and ears are closely watching so they can mimic my every move, good AND bad.

Just Breathe

I've never really thought of my life as one to be envied-after all, everyday is just so normal. Playdough, parks, tantrums (from the kids AND me) and poop that got where? There are endless loads of dishes and laundry that I SUCK at keeping up with-really, just ask my husband. I have sweeping, ironing-which I actually enjoy, go figure-and never-ending amounts of peanut butter sandwiches and boo boo kisses given out on a daily basis.

It has always seemed to me like my life is great-but not really anything I expected others to covet-or even say they were envious of-I mean, after all, I get pooped or peed on as a regular part of my day.

Walking with an old friend yesterday opened my eyes to just how lucky I am to be a mom-to have this opportunity to raise the amazing people God trusted to me and to be a partner and support beam to my wonderful husband.

Though my days are super long and go by in a blur-ending with me falling into bed at night, I need to remember just how precious, special, and lucky this charge of motherhood is. I need to take more time to soak up and enjoy the little things, instead of worrying or getting stressed.

And another thing I learned from my friend? I need to be run more-being out of breath after a walk is just, well, embarrassing. Especially if I have any hope of finishing the mother's day 5K I want to do.....

The Color Green

I'm feeling rather green today, and not in the best of ways. Green, usually, is a color I love, but today, I am rather embarrassed to be green.

You see, because I am a tiny bit jealous.

Actually, I am quite green with envy.

The Internet is pretty amazing, and I love it; however, today, I "ran into" an old classmate's writing on the Internet, which lead me to her blog, which then lead me to read all about the amazing writing and traveling career she has lead since I last saw her.

She's been to Ireland, Europe, India, China and Hungry. She's been on the red carpet (Yes, THAT Red Carpet). She travels all over whenever the moment strikes her. She's an editor for an amazing magazine that I love to read when I have the free time in the checkout line and the kids are being good. She has done amazing interviews with writers and authors I love reading and she wears amazing high heels to after-work functions. She has written some books and been published in newspapers.

And even though I am quite happy (and really quite overjoyed) to have children and be here at home, a tiny part of me is a little envious of the life she has; the life I gave up when I decided to stay home with kids.

Not that I would be an editor, or traveling, or writing books, but those were my goals, way back when I was in school. And perhaps, someday when the kids don't need me as much (that does happen, doesn't it? ) I can start working on those goals, again.

I'll have the time to write for fun, and work on putting down some of the stories that have swirled in my head for a number of years. Or maybe I'll get brave enough to submit some writing to a magazine or newspaper.

Or perhaps even just brush up on my English grammar and spelling rules, 'cause Lord knows my mind is a bunch of mush right now. Probably the same mush the kids turned their sandwiches into when they decided it was great fun to dump their orange juice on their plates.

Maybe?

But then.

Watching the kids attempt to clean up (and being oh so sweet and helping each other spread the mess around) makes me so happy I gave up other options-for them and me. Because I benefit dramatically, as well, from having them with me.

Somehow, I don't think all that traveling, interviewing, writing and fabulous shopping would be quite so fun, if I had to miss out on all of this fun.

So, I guess I am only just a little green now, and that is OK, we all encounter those moments now and then, right? All that does matter, is that nothing would make me trade what I have for anything else.

Because even if at first it may not seem like it (even to me) I do, actually, have it all.

Thankful Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is just a few days away and I am armed with my grocery list. We are going to be spending the holiday with my in-laws; however, I am going to be making the corn pudding and I'm excited because it is THA BOMB. Yes, THA BOMB. Greatest stuff ever that my grandma's grandma always made, on down the line on my Dad's side, and now I get to make. Holidays and growing up are fun like that.

But I digress.

This Thanksgiving is particularly hard for some people to find thankfulness. I have so many friends that still can't find jobs-and have been out of jobs for over a year now. I know a few people that are losing their homes to foreclose, and because I work in the real estate marketing industry, I am constantly reading about how hard the economy is in areas all over the country right now. And it is scary.

But in a way, what is scary is also good. Spending less on things we don't need has made me realize what we do need: just time with friends and family. We need the ability to be thankful for what we have and not dwell on what we want or don't have.

Even in the worst situations, there are things to be thankful for, and the truest way to show thankfulness is to be content with what we have.

Just For Thought

Happy Friday!

It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
Walt Disney

Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society.
Benjamin Franklin

Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.
Albert Einstein

There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate's loot on Treasure Island
Walt Disney

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759

I don't care what anyone writes about me, so long as it is not true.
Katharine Hepburn

Crowded classrooms and half-day sessions are a tragic waste of our greatest national resource - the minds of our children.
Walt Disney

The Fun is in Getting It Done! Can we Fix it? YES WE CAN!
Bob The Builder


All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.
Walt Disney

No rush, no rush; next week it won't matter if a lost shoe made us late to playdate.
Me

Pee Goes Outside

I had something else in mind this morning to write, but as I started typing, my sweet Little Dude came up and asked me if he could pee outide.

My natural reaction, was WHY and a huge reminder that we were INSIDE.

"Yes," he replied, (as though that was just OBVIOUS). "But you see, we are going to play golf. And golf is outside".

Logical, yes? I have to say, he is rather logical.

So I started the questioning, "Do you need to go potty?" "No". "Are you sure?" "Yep".

"So, why do you want to Pee outside?"

"Beacuse it is SO FUN!"

And while I don't really know the joy of peeing outside that guys seem to enjoy (usually when I do it, it is because there is just NO BATHROOM ANYWHERE. That includes outside gas staion bathrooms, I NEVER use those. My bathrooms must be inside, where they might be sorta clean, but I digress)I have to agree, that doing things just for the fun of it is something I have lost. I get so caught up in what we are learning, when I do things with our children. Is this educaitonal? Is it teaching them something? Are they going to pick up this skill by doing that project? In kid movies (it's an educational video). Playdough? Gross Motor Skills! We need this toy so we can work on Fine Motor Skills! Perhaps I feel more pressure that my children should have accomplished skills since I used to teach preschool.

But I have lost the FUN in the events.

And what did we do? I let my son pee outside in the bush by our patio. Gross? Maybe, but for him it was SO FUN. And I didn't try to turn it into a lesson. I need to make sure I focus on doing fun things, just for the fun of it, more often.

Just another lesson I have learned from my children.

Jon and Kate

I have watched the "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" show since it started, and just fell in love with the family, the kids, and the amazing way they handled that many kids. It was just fascinating and motivating to see how two 6 year olds and 6 two year olds could, in fact, go to Disney, have fun, and not get lost. Each time I watched it, I'd come away like, "Yes, I can handle my two toddlers!" Or I'd steal an organization idea. I loved it.

But last night, as I watched Jon and Kate announce they were divorcing, I felt so much sorrow for them and for the marriage that isn't being saved.

So many times each of them said the kids came first and were their priority-Kate even mentioned that the whole reason she breathes is for the kids. And that is all fine and dandy, but I wonder if perhaps that is the root of their problems. For years Jon seemingly took whatever C**P Kate seemed to throw at him, and all in all she never did treat him with respect when the cameras where around. And Jon never seemed to care, he just simply ignored it. At least when the cameras were around.

So perhaps instead of doing everything for the kids, they really should have (and maybe still could) start to focus on each other. And put each other first, treating each other with dignity and respect. And perhaps a smart idea would be to stop the show, or cut back the show, so they could focus more on being a family, rather than putting on a show for the tv audience.

Cause I'm pretty sure all the kids would really rather have their parents lovingly together, than to get some amazing play houses.

So I am torn as to whether I will watch anymore, simply because I feel like the show and the fame really took its toll on Jon and Kate, and escalated the issues that tore them apart. And the millions from the show made it an easier option to just go get a divorce and buy an apartment at Trump Towers, rather than to go through years of counseling to help mend the cracks.

So I don't know, but I am very sad for the Gosselins and their children.

I Lift My Lamp Beside The Golden Door

We went to the park yesterday, and I met a young mom (I say young, she was probably only a little younger than me-now I feel old). Anyways, we started talking in that way that lonely moms desperately need, throwing off all caution of strangers and differences, bonding merely over the fact that we had kids, and needed to talk to another adult.

As we talked, I learned that she was living in a hotel, while her husband was here working for the next few weeks, and that in a few months they will start house hunting to move here. From California. Where all their family is. Where they grew up, and where all their kids were born. They will be more then a 15 hour drive away; they will have a far enough drive that they probably won't ever be driving back. And with 3 children, and a tight budget, they probably won't be flying back anytime soon for visits.

As we talked, I found myself listening more than talking, giving her the support she desperatly needed, along with directions to all the local fun stuff they will have here in their new home. As I saw her starting to get excited about Mobile, I started reflecting back on some advice another friend, Cathy, had given me when I had explained how Bill and I were not sure where we might end up, being transfered here permenatly or getting to go back to NC:

Abraham trusted in the Lord, and gave up everything he knew, left his land and home, and followed where the Lord guided him to go, doing what he had to do because he trusted God would look out for him, and God did and greatly blessed him.

When Cathy first told me of Abraham's strength and faith, I had brushed it off, not really making the connection.

But when I met Susan yesterday at the park, I realized that perhaps God is showing me a sign. That while I am in between, and a bit of a traveler, not knowing where we will end up, not able to make plans for the future, and having to just do what is best for our family as the choices come, perhaps I can be a tool of comfort for others going through similar events. Perhaps, this is my chance to truly offer comfort to others in need, and lend myself as a staff for them to lean on and find supportive rest.

So, if you need an ear to complain to, to contemplate with, and unload a bit of your anxiety, I'll be at the park at 11.

Finding The Genius

This is my favorite quote in the whole world:

Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.

Albert Einstein

During those times I am feeling off, put down, and, well, like I just am not good at what I am trying to do, I remember this quote.

There are many things we can all do, and many things we can't, but if we only judge ourselves by the things we can't, we will surely miss the things we can.



I hope you have a wonderful weekend. I myself will be working on being the fish that perfects swimming, instead of the fish trying to climb a tree. Wish me luck.

The Children Know

We have all had those moments where you just want to crawl under a rock and die, but parents experience them in ways that are unique, and frustrating.

Oh yea, you know what I am talking about; those moments.

The ones where the children KNOW they can become tornadoes of destruction, unleashing their wrath in waves of terror more fickle than the Greek and Roman Gods.

Oh yea, they throw...TANTRUMS, and ususally they save the worst ones for the times when you are in public.

And try as we might to remember that ALL kids do this- push the limits, test the waters, and just see how much they can do before mom's head explodes and you really do SkinThemAlive, it is hard to not feel the stress and pressure that all the other adults give as YOUR little bundle of joy and light of your life proceed to kick your shins, scream, and claw at your legs, all because you asked if they would like to have some water and NOIDONTHAVEJUICE.

While all this is happening, it is terribly hard to not wonder if everyone is judging you, shaking their heads because you don't spank, or because you do, or because you try to reason with the little joys, or because you don't. And don't worry, they are, and for all those reasons.

You just have to realize, no matter how you parent, others will judge, others will disagree and others WILL TELL YOU IN NOT SO NICE WAYS. But you know what? So long as you are lovingly disciplining (for more on what I mean, you can ask-but in my opinion spanking shouldn't happen past the diaper stage and before the steady walking stage, and even then only in the most dire of needs-like running in the road or something-)your little ones, and doing your best to turn them into rational, well behaved, self sufficient, hard working adults with positive self images, then you are doing a great job. And for those tantrum moments? Just scoop up your joy and leave the area, and your child will eventually calm down, even if that means having to leave and go out to the car.

And for all the strangers that are staring at YOU? Well, I find that just throwing myself into a tantrum as well helps to move them along. Most people don't like to be around crazy people, and most of us on this crazy journey have come to realize, Parents ARE Crazy People, so we might as well use it to our advantage.

Rebirth

Today is so hard on kids, young adults and well, everyone. Beyond the normal bullying and teasing kids can go through, the internet has opened a whole new door to tormenting and judging from peers. It is scary, as parents, to realize we need to do our best to arm our children with the self esteem, attitude and skills to fight back against the ills they will face as they journey through this world. And to follow our own advice and keep our self esteem in tack, as well.

Regardless of faith or not, everyday offers a chance of rebirth, of starting over, and getting on a straight path. Today is a great day to leave whatever demon you are fighting behind; a decision only you can make.

As a Catholic, I believe that Jesus was reborn today, and on Easter in 2004 I was born into the Christian Faith. Though I am not always strong in my faith, I try to be, and I hope I can pass that strength in God on to my children and grandchildren.

Here is a video Nell over at Casual Friday Everyday shared with me. The visual aspects are touching and a great reminder that though there are many demons out there to knock us off our path, God will always be there to pick us up, help us through the dark days, months, years. The greatest gift of faith is knowing that we can get through anything because of Him.
Happy Easter, everyone!

Someday

So yesterday we drove to Pennsacola, FL to take my mother in law to the airport. Since we were in the area, we went ahead and made a side trip on the way home to go visit the National Air and Naval Museum again. It was, again, super fun and we made it around the the second floor this time, where there was a ton of NASA exhibits. SUPER cool!

As we left, Little Dude threw a fit. Partly he was hungry, partly he was tired, and partly he just didn't want to leave. So, he threw himself down, I had to drag him out of there, literally, and THANK GOD for my Mei Tai having pockets because I had to use both hands to get Little Dude to come with me. I swear some people were debating wheather I was kidnapping him-he was fighting me tooth and nail the whole way, and I even have a bite mark to prove it.

After finally getting Little Dude strapped into the car, and JR buckled into his seat-both screaming at the top of their lungs- I took a moment to lean against the car. I was dreading the hour drive I still had to get back to Mobile, and reall dreading even getting in the car my two terrors, er, bundles of joy, when an old woman started to get into the car next to mine. She came over, and I thought for sure I was going to get Parenting Advice, but instead she gave me this little gem:

"Someday you'll look back and wish these boys hadn't grown up so fast."

And then she smiled and walked on, leaving me very thoughtful.

Though yesterday I was ready to thrash my little bundle of toddler joy, I was quickly reminded that even these tough tough parenting moments will soon pass and become just memories. And, gasp, I might actually wish I were back in them, so I better enjoy them while I can.

I Wish People Still Spoke This Way

I believe in the supreme worth of the individual and in his right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

I believe that every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty.

I believe that the law was made for man and not man for the law; that government is the servant of the people and not their master.

I believe in the dignity of labor, whether with head or hand; that the world owes no man a living but that it owes every man an opportunity to make a living.

I believe that thrift is essential to well ordered living and that economy is a prime requisite of a sound financial structure, whether in government, business or personal affairs.

I believe that truth and justice are fundamental to an enduring social order.


I believe in the sacredness of a promise, that a man’s word should be as good as his bond; that character -- not wealth or power or position -- is of supreme worth.

I believe that the rendering of useful service is the common duty of mankind and that only in the purifying fire of sacrifice is the dross of selfishness consumed and the greatness of the human soul set free.

I believe in all-wise-and all-loving God, named by whatever name, and that the individuals highest fulfillment, greatest happiness, and widest usefulness are to be found in living in harmony with His will.

I believe that love is the greatest thing in the world; that it alone can overcome hate; that right can and will triumph over might.

John D. Rockefeller, Jr., quotation as inscribed at Rockefeller Center, New York City

Giggles For Me

Even in the chaos of my days, taking the time to giggle over nothing makes everything seem in perfect order.

Dear God

Help me to be a better mother. Help me to focus my time and energy on my boys, and enjoy every little minute I get to spend with them. Help me to read that extra bedtime story, and make them stand in the corner when they have been bad, build forts and watch Sesame Street.

And Lord?

Help me to not loose my temper when Little Dude decides to TAKE OFF HIS DIAPER AND POOP ON THE FLOOR AND SMEAR IT AROUND INTO THE CARPET.

Amen

Team Work

Having our two boys has changed everything for us in very good ways. Since JR's arrival, it has become pretty hard to do those spur of the moment get together our single friends might do, but instead we have spent tons of time as a family, and having lots of fun just finding simple things to do. Even being here in Alabama, as much as it is sad to be away from our friends and family and our home, has made me think more simply and to realize how really, Less IS More.

Being away from our family and friends has made us have to spend a lot of time finding ways to entertain ourselves cheaply. So we have a lot of dinners at home, a lot of playing with the boys, playing Wii, and lots of time being a family and just enjoying each other.


Me and the boys being goofy in our PJ's.

My husband and I even joke that we are "Team Z" now, since we don't have any help down here and it is "us" vs "them" (the kids) all the time. All joking aside, the very real teamwork that parenthood throws you into is such a wonderful way to celebrate and strengthen your devotion and I am loving every minute of it.


Team Z on New Year's (yes, we made it to midnight, my how our New Year's have changed since College....)