Parent Guilt

Even though I stay home with the kids, I do work from home. And that means that every Monday starts out with me feeding the kids quickly, grabbing a cup of coffee for me, and running downstairs to my office to start sending out client retainer hour reports. And then I make a gameplan for what items I need to complete for the week, what projects need more attention, check on time for other projects, discuss SEO items with my bosses and clients, and more.

What are the kids doing during this time? Eating alone upstairs. Or watching tv downstairs. Or playing outside without me (in our privacy fenced backyard), or simply reading stories in their room.

My point is though, that it is WITHOUT ME. Like right now; I am in the middle of writing some SEO blog posts on a ton of condo spotlights for a client (and thus taking a quick break to jot this personal blog post down) and the kids are outside playing without me.

Champ is here sleeping next to me (since he is a baby with older bros, I never leave him out of sight for long, lol) But I feel GUILTY.

Guilty I have to work.
Guilty I have to make the kids go do things without me.
Guilty that I have to say "I can't play right now, Mommy needs to work"
Guilty I have to say "Go find something to do"
I'm guilty that I can't keep the house spotless or the laundry caught up.
I'm guilty that I can't always have dinner done on time
I'm guilty that I get behind on work for work!

I'm just guilty all the time, and feel like I just can't measure up or get everything done.

And I know I would feel differently if I worked outside the home. Then I know I would give myself a break on some of those things, like dinner, or laundry, or even having to tell the kids to go play.

Most of my guilty feelings come from the fact that I AM home, I'm HERE, and I should be more engaged in all the household stuff, all the kid stuff. Surely, as a stay at home mom, I can find the time to read some stories during the day? Right?

But there are some days, where the only stories read are right before bed. And I feel ever so guilty about it.

I don't remember my parents ever playing with me or my sisters. I remember being told to go away A LOT and it kills me when I have to tell the boys I can't play. That I have stuff to do.

And yet, somehow, I can never catch up.

I feel like, since I am at home, that I should have all the HOME stuff taken care of for Bill. He shouldn't have to come home and help with laundry (in my mind) because I"M HERE. I should do it. It is part of my stay at home job! Dinner should be done, the vacuuming done. The dishes done. The kids mostly clean and letters practiced, books read, and some time spent at the park. That is my opinion of what a stay at home mom DOES.

But throw work in, and somehow, I lose most of my time to do those other household things, which is fine and understandable, but I just can't get myself to accept the fact that I am WORKING. I can't do it all, all the time; I realize that. But somehow, deep inside, when I see the boys playing alone, or Bill coming home to a stack of dirty dishes, I get hit by huge waves of guilt.

Guilt that just won't go away.

Chaos

In college, I majored in English. That doesn't mean I am a particularly good writer, or even understand all grammar rules; however, it does mean I have a very deep fondness for the English language-especially alliteration (the repetition of usually initial consonant sounds in two or more neighboring words or syllables). When I was trying to come up for a name for my blog I racked my brain trying to think of some catchy title that played on alliteration. Thus Coordinated Chaos came to be.

But I had no idea, back then when I had just one tiny baby, just HOW MUCH chaos would be taking over my house.

Like today. The kids were eating jelly toast when I realized I had not taken the trash to the curb yet-the realization brought on by the sound of the trash truck rumbling down the road. So, out the door I flew.

And in the process of dragging the heavy trash can (super heavy today because our old mail box and post are in it, yes I did that project Sunday)I put a *tiny* scratch in Bill's truck, right near the headlight. It is maybe an inch and really light, but still, I feel retarded. Who can't move a trash can without running into a truck? Only me. Anyways.

In the time it took me to drag the trash and recycling to the curb-which I made it just as the truck stopped to grab my cans-the kids proceeded to cover my floor and table with jam and toast crumbs. When I say covered, I mean COVERED. Yea, I was dumb and left the jam jar on the table, just ENTICING the kids to dump it out and smear it around. I haven't cleaned it up yet because I just don't even know where to start. If I ignore it, the mess will go away, right?

Then, in the time it took me to get the sheets, towels and clothes from my room down to the laundry room for washing, the boys had taken the CLEAN clothes I'd brought up, THROWN them around the living room and dinning room and THEN filled up that laundry basket with my VERY OLD book collection that used to belong to Bill's Grandpa, and Bill's Dad gave to me when he discovered I had actually read (and love) most of the classics.

I finally got all of that cleaned up, only to discover Little Dude and JR had taken all of JR's toys from his room and put them in a huge pile on the closet floor. All. of. the. toys.

So now the kids are watching some TV-and actually sitting still-while I work up the courage to tackle the kitchen mess. And what time is it? 10am? Since it is completely muddy, nasty and cold outside, we won't be leaving the house to burn off energy unless I pay for us to go somewhere OR just go for a walk. Which I think we will do as soon as I finish cleaning the kitchen, if for no other reason than to keep another disaster from happening.

But hey, at least we are all dressed.

Working From Home

Today, we spent forever at the park, and I think I met Little Dude's first girlfriend. She was absolutely cuteness, his age, and held his hand as they played.

Her Grandma and I hit it off pretty fast, and exchanged numbers so we can get together next week. I think we might have to set up a betrothal, because I am in love with this little girl's HUGE brown eyes. The two of them playing had me melting-HUGE brown eyes next to my son's HUGE blue eyes. Oh, goodness.

I'm trying to catch up on work, and I think I might just get it all done before it is due tomorrow AND before I have to leave to pick Bill up from the airport tonight.

I am super excited to show Bill all the things I got done in the two weeks since he has been gone:

*I painted our bedroom-SO in love with it now! I will have to find a before picture so I can show you a now picture. Humongous project I did one night when I couldn't sleep. I still can't believe I did it all and got all the furniture back in place.
*I started purging through STUFF to get together for a yard sell. I've done pretty well, but honestly I think the pile of stuff in our laundry room will drive me crazy before I can get through everything for a yard sell-so I might just end up taking it to Good Will one day.
*I re-did the boy's bathroom so it looks more like a boy's bathroom. The lovely purple, green and gold butterfly theme I had going in there from back when we first got married still worked, but it seemed like time to get a boy look in there. Esp since two boys are now sharing it and it can no longer be considered the "guest bathroom". The new stuff is super cute, thanks to Target; not really a "kid" look, yet nice and boyish and still matches the mustard yellow tile in there. I'll have to get a picture of that project too.
* Cleaned the pantry-that was a mess.
*Cleaned the guest room, though now it is full of things I'm hiding from family for Christmas. Bill, your stuff isn't in there, so don't bother looking-I found another hiding place for your things!
*Cleaned our bathroom and cleaned out under the sink. I found three unopened bottles of Listerine, nice!
*I got up IN the ATTIC and got our Halloween stuff down. AND set it all up in the yard. I must say, we have the coolest Halloween yard on the block. LOVE Halloween. And I added some cool Disney themed light up pumpkins to the decor this year. Oh, Halloween, how I love thee.

I can't wait to show Bill; I know he will be so proud of all the work I've done! And I can't wait for him to just BE here, yay!

Organizing the Chaos

What works for me this week?

Organization. Oh yes, I am a huge organizing junkie. I function so much better when I am able to organize and keep up with everything, be it or Dakno, my kids, my blog, or household things, like dishes and laundry....

So how do I try to stay organized? I carry a calendar around with me everywhere. Every January, I invest in a good, sturdy small notebook size calendar that fits great into my bag of miracles, aka the diaper bag, so I am able to write down things as they come up right away. And when I get home, I copy them all to my big wall calendar in the kitchen.

Also, I have a huge wipe board in my office, so I can make weekly and monthly lists of projects and deadlines coming up (often reflecting items written on the other two calendars, yes I need reminding.) Such as:

Century 21 project due Dec. 13th
Team Mom review due Dec. 15th
upload JR video to Newbaby.com sometime next week.
ongoing work projects: blogs optimizations, retainer reports
Playdate with Mia this Friday
Pick up Bill at Airport 9pm Friday
Clean out car-someday

So for this week, I realize I have to get on the Century 21 project,and I am reminded of a review in a few weeks and my on going tasks at work. As I finish off items, I simply erase them from my board. Each Sunday I go back over it and make a new list or re write it so I stay on top of everything.

So, each day, at a glance, I can see what is coming up and plan my work hours around other things and see what items I would like to get done in whatever free time I find myself having. (Like cleaning the car out....not a time sensitive project, but still needs to be done before new life forms start to develop....)

And so, that is What Works For Me! Check out Rocks in my Dryer for more great tips!

Also, check out my Miche Reviews for a few new items that have also Worked For Me!

I'm Offically a Vlogger

So what is this vlog stuff I have been talking about? Well, it is as the name sounds, a mix of video and blogging and you can check out my very first attempt at it HERE:


Then click on "View Videos" and you will see the selection of vlogs I have uploaded for your viewing pleasure! So far I only have one, and though I know it is not terribly good and a little shaky, I am quite proud! I actually sound like I know what I am doing!

And let me just say, that I owe a super thanks to Maria Baily, the awesome lady behind www.newbaby.com. I am so thankful to have the chance to do some vlogging for her because Newbaby.com is an AWESOME resource for new and "experienced" parents and I just simply feel honored to be a part of the team. So, all new and pro parents, be sure to check out my new project, let me know what you think of my vlog, and most importantly, take advantage of all the free advice, ideas, activities, and support that all of us parents need.

Toddler/Baby Organization

Toddler/Baby Organization works for me! I have many soft cloth baskets around the house (which you can get at target, wal-mart, sams club, bjs, etc very cheaply) and they are designated for different baby/toddler toy items. Some area for books, one for blocks, one for rattle toys, one for cars, one big one for balls...you get the idea.

But what is the best way to keep the organization going? I slip in PICTURES of what the basket is supposed to be holding in the area where you would normally write a word. So, for example, our ball basket, has a picture of Little Dude's balls in the basket as the label for the basket INSTEAD of just the word: BALLS.

It works great, and Little Dude can find the right basket from the picture,and know what goes in that basket. You can see Little Dude in his "reading area" with the book basket in the background.



This could also work for shelves. Just simply set up the bookcase/shelves/play area however you want it, take pictures, then print them out on your printer on regular paper and tape them in the designated areas. Again, for example, a picture of the "reading area" taped to the wall over the reading area. (Scotch tape should work without messing up paint or wood, but check a small area in your home first, as what works on my walls may not work on yours)

Well, that is what works for me, and I hope that it helps your with getting your baby/toddler to put toys back where they go! Go check out Rocks in my Dryer for more helpful tips!

Junk Yard Dogs

What Works For Me this week? Junk Yard Dogs. They are THE people to contact when you have extra "junk" in your life! They are locally owned and operated in the Raleigh, NC area.


Not only are they GREAT at taking away your unwanted/unneeded "extra things", they also are eco friendly in their removal! All items that can be recycled ARE RECYCLED and anything that can't be is responsibly taken care of or donated to charities. How wonderful is that? You can clean out your garage, help out the environment AND support local charities! You'll also be surprised to learn you'll be able to use your garage space for so many other things....like, GASP! parking your car!!

Truly, Junk Yard Dogs is a miracle business made up of some of the hardest working guys you will ever met. You can take a look at their website and contact them here

And the best part of using Junk Yard Dogs? They give FREE estimates. That is right. FREE. So, go ahead, give them a try and I promise you won't be disappointed with their hard work, dedication, and service. By the time they are done, you will not even recognize your new space.

Well, that is what Works For Me! Head on over to Rocks in my Dryer for other great tips and services!!

Diaper Bag Organization

It is another Works For Me Wednesday! What works for me this week? Diaper Bag Organization; as in, carry as little as possible with this nifty little trick!

I hate it when I am out and about with Little Dude, and something happens, like getting the sippy cup lid off, or worse, forgetting the sippy cup at home, and even though my diaper bag is crazy heavy from all the other "I might need it" items, I don't have the ones I need!

So, I went to Target and bought a cute little wire basket that is about 9"x9" and about 6" tall to turn into a PERMANENT "diaper bag" for my car! In this box I have:

* 3 or 4 extra sippy cups that I bought just for the car-and marked on them in permanent marker "car"
*a ton of bibs
*half a pack of diapers
*1 box of diaper wipes
*various toys
*a hat for Little Dude
*a few books
*baby sunscreen
*one of Little Dude's sunglasses
*2 extra outfits-nothing nice, since in all likelihood they will stay in the car, just some cheap pants, shorts, socks, two tops and a jacket from good will, all bought for about 4 dollars
*a ton of granola bar snacks. (Little Dude and I love the Nature Valley brand).
*I also always have bottled water in the car because as a kid our car always broke down, and even though I an quite certain our van wont break down anytime soon, I still fear being broken down and Little Dude (or me) being thirsty, thus the bottled water

Now, in my Diaper Bag that I carry everywhere, I only need my sunglasses, my wallet,a sippy cup, 1 or 2 diapers, a small bundle of wipes, my inhaler (I have asthma), Little Dude's other pair of sunglasses, coupon holder (when going to the grocery store or shopping), phone, camera, chap stick, a small stick of sunscreen for quick touch ups, lotion, and a small toy or book. My bag is soooo light now and not a hassle to carry-wonderful! And when I forget an item at home, I don't have to stress or head home early-I have a replacement in the back of my car!