Parenting

Hanging with friends at the bluegrass festival 2013

It is funny to realize now, how much time I used to spend blogging, building my SEO and promoting myself as a "mom blogger expert". I got free stuff to review and even got invited to blog conferences, and had a pretty nice traffic flow, all because I told people what my take on parenting was.

And, looking back, I realize how absolutely ridiculous it was, and is, to obsessively hang on every word some "expert" says about parenting.

Because, ladies and gentlemen, we all come from different situations, different kids, different experiences, different battles to face, and different futures. And as I have aged in this whole parenting thing, I have realized that often, those "expert" opinions and "this is the best thing you can do" stances, don't serve much purpose except to put un-needed pressure on new parents, who already feel antiquate and worry about what is best and if they are doing the right stuff.

Here is the truth I have learned. None of us are perfect, none of us will ever be perfect, and the trend now will not be a trend latter. We are going to mess up, and that is OK. It is OK for our kids to see us fail. It is OK to appologize to them when you lose your temper and realize you went overboard with the yelling. It means a lot to them to see you are not perfect, and takes pressure off them to live up to perfect standards that they are going to all too quickly realize they can't achieve.

Just like us. Take the pressure off. Don't worry about cloth vs. disposable. Don't freak out or feel defensive about breast vs. bottle vs formula. Don't go on parenting forums. There are crazy people out there that will make you feel horrible and like a failure because you don't have your little ankle biter all scheduled in the latest Montisouri school that offers Chinese and Spanish, along with Gymnastics and Chess for three year olds.

What works best for you? What makes you enjoy parenthood the most? What makes you feel more calm in your life? Pick that one.

For me, I did cloth diaper, mostly to save money, and used the same 25 diapers on three babies for the past 7 years almost non stop. When we traveled? Disposable it was. Behind on laundry? Disposable it was.

Breast milk? I did, again to save money, and partly because I knew the antibodies were beneficial to immunity. But you know what? We also did formula just so Bill could also enjoy feeding babies. And when I wanted to drink. And I even pumped and put breast milk in bottles for times when I just didn't want to nurse in public, because that made me more calm. Do what works for you.

Vaccines? I'm still hardcore for vaccines, but don't go on forums to make your choice. Don't listen to Jenny McCarthy. Talk to Drs. Read the online medical journals about Autism and vaccines and make your decision. Is Autism worse than your child catching  a preventable disease and maybe dying from it? Again, your choice, but make an educated one, not because some crazy loud moms shouted it in your face and you jumped on the wagon with them.

Discipline?  I love all of Kevin Leman's books and his reality discipline approach. But you know what? My kids are far from perfect, and I'm far from perfect, so you will probably see me with a tantrum throwing two year old as some point in the grocery store and I'll have no idea what to do, even after three babies, a degree in early childhood, and working in daycare, preschool and nanny settings. But you know what we can always do? Just smile at moms going through the same thing, and give a sympathetic head nod to let them know we have all been there, done that and will do it again.

Make the choices that keep you calm and help you enjoy this wonderful gift of parenting, because just like the last tantrum your toddler had, this season shall pass and be just a memory.

Do what you need to to make it an enjoyable memory. And don't stress about the rest of us.

Raising Sons

I'm really quite amazed an entire month has gone by, and I haven't really found the time to blog much. Honestly, I am blogging now only because I felt I should have more than one post under June!

Anyways, here are some quick updates:

The boys are all getting huge. HUGE, I'm telling you! How in the world did that happen? Champ is starting to move around on his back, and no longer stays in one place now....I am going to have to start figureing out the baby gate situation quickly. What did other people do with kids and babies and stairs? I hate to trap the big ones up stairs and have them needing me every second to open/close it for them (and I'm scared they either won't close it OR they will try to climb it...ahhh!)

In the past with babies and crawling, early walking times, we lived out of town in apartments/ one story houses for Will's job....so I have yet to really need to master baby gates.....now with number three being HERE in our split level entry house...I am quite wondering how to set it up.

If you have brilliant thoughts, please share them.

Other updates include that Little Dude is going to start soccer camp in a few weeks-I am really excited for him to get some kind of energy sapping activity going. I'm not sure if we will sign up JR yet or not, I might see how he feels and maybe do another session in the fall with him while Little Dude is in preschool. We shall see. JR will be doing a little preschool baseball weekend session and we are all quite excited about that.

It has suddenly gotten super hot here and I am trying to come up with fun things to do that don't require me seating like crazy, since the kids don't seem to notice. I think there will be many future visits to museums.

In the cloth diapering world, the cloth wipes I am trying out is going great. I am actually really liking just throwing the wipes in the wash as well, and not having to keep them separate, etc. I got some great bottom cleaner spray, called CJ's Carcass Cleaner (nice name, eh?) and used an old body spray bottle (and old one from Bath and Body Works) and I am doing the dry method of wipes. So I take my baby wash cloth or infant diaper insert (those are working GREAT as wipes, by the way) spray down Champs bum, wipe away, and toss everything my wet bag til wash day. For super poops I spray the cloth AND his bum, but so far we have only had one. I think my cleaning spray will last a super long time too. I also got CJ's Bottom Butter in the sea spice scent and it SMELLS SO GOOD. I use some even though he hasn't had any diaper rash as of yet, just because it makes him smell so wonderful.

So far, having a house full of boys is extremely fun. It is usually a super hero, treasure hunting, saving the world kind of day around here, and I love how serious they get about fighting bad guys.

Last week we had JR's birthday party and it was all super hero themed-Oh the kids all had such a great time! I will put on pictures of JR in his batman cape and mask; it is really just too awesome. Little Dude is loving JR's Captain America shield and mask, so I am going to hunt down a Captain America cape on etsy for Little Dude's birthday. Don't tell him though :)

I am also already training them to hold the door for me (and all ladies) and making sure they understand that they can't ever hit a little lady, even if she DOES bite you. I am constantly reminding them they are gentlemen and must act that way.

My sons' future dates can all thank me, as the boys mostly do act like gentlemen to all our little lady friends. I can't; however, be blamed for the toliet seat, I am convinced forgetting to put it down is just a genetic makeup for boys; just be thankful they pee IN it.

So, that is all that is going on here. Beyond keeping the kids alive, trying to put laundry away so Bill thinks I'm productive, and keeping up with my paying job, I really don't have much time to blog as I would like.

Cloth Diapering and Cloth Wipes

I've been cloth diapering for a few years now; we started with Little Dude was a year old, right after we found out JR was on his way! At the time, I didn't know anyone that cloth diapered, but had seen a lady in TN (where we lived for Little Dude's first 9 months) doing it, and I was a bit intrigued, since she had all these cute covers.

Anyways, after realizing we were soon going to be doing double diaper duty with two under the age of two, I started adding up the cost and figured out pretty quickly that even with increased water, electricity, and detergent usage to do the extra loads of laundry, by FAR we would save a TON with cloth diapers. Especially since I got a lot of mine as "pre loved" ones from http://www.momforlife.com and ebay. Germ-a-phob that I am, I of course washed them with bleach a few times before ever using them on the kiddos.

So, now four years later, I am still super happy with all my cloth diapers and wet bags. LOVE doing it.

But as much as I love doing the cloth diapers, using cloth wipes never crossed my mind, for some reason. Now though, that the cost of the baby wipes I normally get have jumped up a bunch and the fact that I only have one diaper wearer now as apposed to two (yay, JR is out of diapers at night too now, YAYAYAY!)I am really considering the cost, and trying to figure how I can make it as cheap as possible.

So here are my thoughts:

One, I am going to use baby wash cloths (I have a ton for some reason, though I only use his mickey mouse one at bath time) and the "newborn inserts" that came with my cloth diapers. Now that Champ is bigger and peeing more, he is using just the regular insert folded to the small size setting, so what to do with all the newborn inserts? I am thinking they will be perfect baby wipes.

Two, I am so tired of pulling out the baby wipes from my wet bag before washing diapers, or worse, pulling them out of the diaper Velcro after being washed (the Velcro won't stick when the wipe is all stuck in it, so you have to pull every.little.bit.out. ugh.)

Three, I want to cut our costs more and as a bonus reduce the amount of trash I am creating for landfills.

I am also going to use a solution of baby wash with water in a recycled regular wipe container (I will test its water holding power in the sink before putting it on Champ's dresser, hopefully it will be water tight)and then just place the newborn inserts/wash cloths in there as needed.

When done? I'll just throw them in with my diapers in the wet bag as normal, but instead of pulling them out of the wash or bag later, I can just wash everything with no worries about my Velcro getting messed up. Yippie!

I did go ahead and order a travel wipes spray for the diaper bag, though I am fine with using regular wipes just for travel if needed.

So, off on the adventure of cloth wipes I go. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Save Big Bucks For Shoes With Homemade Detergent

It seems I have been on a roll with saving some green-and being green. It hit me last night that I am slowly becoming one of those "hippie" people I knew back in college that would make their own deodorant with incense.

I promise I don' smell bad-and I don't make my own deodorant-but I do cloth diaper and tested out this homemade detergent on them. I found the homemade detergent didn't leave a strong scent like Tide will; however, it did get everything clean and leave a light Irish Spring scent, because Irish Spring was the soap I used in the recipe.

If you try it out let me know how it goes and what you think, or if you come up with any variations. The next batch I make I'm going to try adding in some oil essence to see if I can mimic the lavender smell I love from Tide.

So, without further ado, here I am making detergent:

First, shred up a bar of soap. I used the food grater. This part was pretty fun to do.
Then, melt the shredded soap in 4 cups of water-get the water about to boil, then dump the soap in. Stir until it is melted-this didn't take long and made the whole house smell yummy clean. After it is melted, add the soap/water mixture to 3 gallons of hot tap water and stir well. I used a 5 gallon mop bucket I had around the house and a cooking spatula.


Then take one cup of Borax and one cup f Washing Soda (NOT Backing Soda). And those boxes are huge. Remember 6 bucks for the soap and boxes of Borax and Washing Soda-and I only used a cup of each-just THINK of how much detergent I can make with this initial investment....
Add the Borax and Washing Soda to your bucket of warm water that you already added the melted soap to.
Stir well until you see it starting to get a little thicker. It only took a few minutes to stir, then I kinda messed with it throughout the day with a stir here and there to check on the thickness (though you don't have to, I just did). The slime you just made has to "bake" for 24 hours before it becomes a gelatinous goo great for washing poopy diapers and other dirty clothes.

You can used whatever soap you want, I used Irish Spring because I liked the smell. You could also use powder soap, just melt it the same in the water. Depending on the powder though, see what the ratio would be for a bar of soap, as that will determine how much you melt.

I used 1 cup of the mix to wash my diapers and that seemed to be perfect. To make sure you don't have too much soap, just check on your suds during the wash cycle-you don't want to see more than a few scattered bubbles in your washer. If you see a ton of bubbles, then you need to cut back on the amount of soap you put in per load.

Here is the link I got my recipe from: http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/03/15/how-to-make-your-own-laundry-detergent-and-save-big-money/

I had a few friends mention just putting this mixture into old laundry bottles or getting a bucket with a lid from Home Depot or Lowes-I think they sell the 5 gallon ones for a few dollars.

Happy Laundry Detergent Making!! And perhaps, with the money use crafty mommy's (or daddy's) save, we can justify a shopping spree for ourselves! I'm pretty sure I need some new shoes or some kind of cute accessory, don't you think?


**Posted at Works For Me Wednesday, for more great tips, check out We Are THAT Family**

I Heart Cloth Diapers

I used disposable diapers with our first son and really didn't ever think about cloth diapers until it dawned on me that, when we had our second son, we would then have TWO kids in diapers, with no foreseeable end, since Little Dude had not even turned two yet when JR was born. For me, the journey to cloth diapering started as an inquiry to saving money.

And I was really shocked at just how much I could save.

It is 35 dollars for 204 Walmart diapers. That makes it 17 cents per diaper. You can get the BumGenius 3.0 cloth diapers I have (and recommend the most for ease of use) for around 10 dollars a piece when you shop at www.diaperswappers.com or you can look for discounts on them at mom4life.com. Mom4Life.com is where I got most of mine on a deep discount and a coupon, so just keep your eyes out and occasionally she has gently used ones you can buy on super sale as well.

Plus for ever 3 you order, you get 3 more dollars off your total-and if you use the link in my ad space I make 1% of your subtotal and all proceeds from that will be going to the March Of Dimes in memory of my friend Heather's little girl,Maddie.

OK, back to the math. For cloth diapers, you will need about 12-20, depending on how often you do laundry. I suck at laundry doing, so I actually have 21, so that is $210 for used ones, $357 for brand new ones. And you are done. Now you only have to factor in the low cost of an extra load of laundry Which, by the way, you DO have to run the diapers once on hot and once on cold, so two extra washes per load of diapers. I do mine once a week.

On the same token, 4 disposable diapers a day adds up to $4.75 a week. I know, not much, but now, remember your child will be in diapers at least 2 years, if not closer to 3. And most kids that are potty trained during the day aren't dry at night until closer to 3 and a half. SO, in 58 a weeks-a little more than a year-you have spent an equal amount of money as a cloth diapering mom that bought expensive used cloth diapers. If she bought her cloth diapers new, then it will take 75 weeks of use to spend the same amount in disposables-or about a year and a half.

Only now you have 1 more year, plus pull ups (which I think are counter productive to potty training), plus diapers a night.

AND by then, you may be thinking of having another child. With cloth diapers, your second, third, fourth, and so on child is pretty much free, just the cost of the water for washing.

With disposables? Well, you are back to spending at least 300 a year for every year they use them-per each child. We would have been spending around 600 for the first year we had both Little Dude and Jr in disposable diapers, so it was a no brainer to invest in the cloth diapers.


The 21 I have are actually too many, and I really could get by with 12 now that my son is only using 2 a day. I have the pocket diapers, so I have inserts that go in them that I change when he only pees. He only poops once a day now, so I usually only go through one cover a day. Each BumGenius diaper comes with set of inserts, too. And this is one of the more expensive cloth diapering options.

For 24 dollars you can get 24 pre-folds, and then for about 4-10 dollars a piece you can get a variety of covers to use with them-the most expensive being water proof or adjustable in size, the cheaper options not. And you can find crazy cute covers on etsy. Love!

So going that route, (which I have done and found to be pretty easy but definitely bulky and a skill you must practice to get the folding right), you could end up spending less than 100 dollars and be done with all your diapering needs. I do have some prefolds-and I suggest trying those out before you invest in the more expensive kinds, just to make sure you feel committed to cloth diapering. I chose to go the BumGenius route because they were the most like regular diapers, and there is no folding involved, with makes my hubby and in laws happy.



Also, when all is said and done, potty training has been a breeze, because the kids HATE the feel of wet cloth next to them. JR is currently asking to pee on the potty rather than his diaper, and I haven't been pushing too hard on really training yet because:

*he isn't even two yet
*I'm going to have three kids touching stuff in the public restrooms now, and I'm not excited about those emergency trips in the first 6 months of training.

Any questions on cloth diapering? Let me know, I'm happy to share everything I have discovered so you can see if it works for you.

OH and one thing I can't live without? My diaper sprayer. You MUST have one. You can get it for 30 dollars from mom4life.com and I think the price was the same everywhere. It is super easy to install (I did it without my hubby around and didn't cause a flood. I KNOW I am proud, too!) and gets all the mess off the cloth diapers super quick and easy so you don't have to actually touch anything. Nice.

My Take on Cloth Diapers

Cloth vs Disposible part 2

I have been trying out some cloth diapers for a few weeks now, and I have to say I am loving it! (Yes, I have had to clean poopy ones)

I tried out some Chinese prefolds with covers and some Bumgenius 3.0 pocket diapers, both of which are MUCH cheaper than using disposables. With two kids in diapers, and probably will have another year of two in diapers, AND with a huge slow down in construction (which is what my hubby does for a living) we felt it was time to try doing everything we could to tighten the belt.

So, enter the cloth diapers.

I have to say that so far, the pockets are my favorite because they kind I ordered can be used for BOTH my boys-they adjust in size. With the prefolds, though it appears they would be the cheapest route, aren't. Because you have to buy different sized clothes for each of your kids. And you need about 24 of each size so you can do laundry every other day. THEN you need different sized covers so the prefolds don't leak everywhere. THEN you need pins or snaps so the prefolds stay in place(and those come in different sizes too..). So, even though the prefolds are about 2 dollars each, by the time you add up all the covers, all the prefolds, all the pins, and snaps, then you are actually spending MORE than you would for the Bumgenius pocket diapers. Not much more, but still, more, and the prefolds are a TON more work!

With the Bumgenius pocket ones, I ordered enough for each boy to go through 4 a day for two days, so 16 diapers. Then I ordered 30 inserts and diaper doublers (which is all I have to change when the boys pee, I don't have to get a whole new diaper) Each diaper also comes with a insert and over night doubler.

And I am done. No more sizes to buy, no snaps or pins to keep up with and I only have to carry one diaper and a handful of inserts and doublers in my diaper bag, because it can adjust to fit either boy! In the rare case that both poop or pee out of a diaper while we are out and about, I have simply put two of the diapers in my car. The diapers will stay in the car permanently, for those times I forget one or need more than one extra.

Nice!

There were also a few forums to try to get used diapers from (I know that sounds gross, I would have washed them first) like diaperswappers.com; however, I had such a hard time understanding all the abbreviations (like I think pocket diapers were PCD for pocket cloth diaper, and All in Ones-just like disposable but you wash them, no inserts or anything- are AIO. That is all I picked up though. So, if you check them out, good luck, I gave up and figured the savings we would be getting from not buying tons and tons of disposables was worth splurging a tiny bit and getting new diapers. Also, as a warning with diaperswappers.com, it was my experience that most of the new diapers were not that much cheaper than new ones anyway. Like with many of the prefold covers and the Bumgenius 3.0 were going for only a dollar or 2 less than new ones. PLUS you pay shipping to the person sending it. So just pay attention if you use their site to make sure it is actually a deal to buy used.

So, since I found Bumgenius at Mom4Life.com, with free shipping and a newsletter discount, it was a tiny bit cheaper to get new ones!

Cloth vs Disposible

So, I use disposable diapers and have for over 2 years now. But I am beginning to think I would like to try the cloth route.

Why, for heaven's sake?

1-My sons both poop out of their diapers every time they poop, so no matter what, I am doing laundry for poop covered clothes, so really the added washing of cloth diapers won't up my laundry bill or time.

2-Both my boys get really bad diaper rash and one of the moms I met down here said he might be allergic to the chemicals in the diapers. Though the Lansinoh Diaper Rash Ointment is great at fighting the rash and keeping it at bay, my friends comments made me think "gosh, perhaps I am buying a product with a chemical that is irritating his skin then I'm spending MORE money on a product to fight that irritation" Seems like a waste of money.

3-It hit me I have no idea what those chemicals are in the diapers and sometimes they get so soaked from over night wearing that little beads of something are rubbed all over my sons' skin. That kinda bothers me. What is that stuff?

4-I have found some really cute ones along with cute water proof bags to put them in.

5-I have figured the cost I will spend for these diapers (that I can use on both boys, so no multiple sizes, just one size that adjusts) and realized that it is only a little less than what we would spend a year in disposables.

6-If we are blessed with another child (which I can say right now we do want another)then if I switch to cloth, there will be NO ADDED COST. I will have everything I need. If we stay with disposable, we will roughly have to spend another 1000.00 dollars a year. And that is if Little Dude is completely out of diapers before the third child is born.

7-Also, of my mom friend down here was telling me that disposables have been linked to male infertility because they cause body heat to stay trapped. Hmmm. I have sons. And I do want grandchildren someday. :) I know that is probably a bit conspiracy theory and probably not true, BUT it did make me think-there have been times when their little bums have been sweaty and hot on hot days outside (like the past few summers) and I'm sure the plastic the diapers are made of aren't as breathable or comfortable as a cloth one would be.

8-Again, the cost. Though the cost for cloth will be all up front, it won't cost more than what we will spend this year on diapers (in fact, if we spend the same as we are now for diapers, the cloth will come out at 223.45 cents less in the long run) And remember, I already do kid poop laundry anyway. But that would not sway me completely if it weren't for the fact that we do want another child-if not two more-and the thought of saving a couple thousand dollars by using cloth is just mind boggling-think of how we could put that money in their college funds and let it grow...wow!

9-All the women I have talked to about it say kids using cloth are potty trained much sooner than those in disposable because, frankly, wet cloth is not comfortable and you can't ignore it the way you can with the disposables that still feel dry even after the children have wet.

10-I am somewhat drawn to the cute colors I could get the diapers in-I know, dumb reason, but gosh aren't they cute?

11-They save landfills, and the more I look at our world and what I am leaving for our children, I want them to have a clean, safe world to live in, and putting their poopy diapers in a landfill for all eternity to let whatever those chemicals are in there to sit and leak into the ground has suddenly hit me as not worth it vs. the time it would take to throw a diaper in the washer....

Hmmmm... so what do you guys think? Anyone have suggestions for good cloth diapers? Anyone know where to get them used? Any options at all?