Cancer

I know I'm not supposed to have any contact with the orphanage-and I'm not-but, I do have some dear friends who know some of the volunteers that work over there and they have been so sweet to give my friends updates on Princess and send photos of her, which they in turn have passed on to me-like I have the first photo of her trying to stand and the first time she went to the beach-what kind of sweet blessings will that be for her later, to put in her baby book??!

But, as a blessing, it also can be a blessing of sadness, to know everything that is going on. She is in one of the most wonderful orphanages, but....

Our Princess has been sick lately, and a dr. appointment and x-rays showed what looks like bone cancer taking over her body. Friends there passed on to us charts and x-rays so we have full disclosure of what is going on, and what te likely outcome is.

So we can decide if we want to continue her adoption.

And all I can think is, how fast can we get her here? How fast can I get her to UNC's Cancer Center? How much home equity do we have to pay for it until insurance coverage for her kicks in? Until she has a social security number?

Ind*a may not even let us have her. And she is probably in great pain, looking at the masses in the x-rays.

I'm completely devastated  realizing that we live RIGHT near the BEST kid's cancer hospital in the nation, and could start chemo NOW.

But instead, we are waiting on Ind*a to say if we are approved to have her. And we still have to get the dossier done. And pray so hard for grants to come through, to cover that final $10,000 we just don't have right now. And then wait for them to say we can go get her and pass court there.

And this could take another whole year to get to where we actually have her here and can start treatments.

And lord knows if our insurance would kick in right away and cover it. And would they consider it pre-existing, since she isn't legally ours yet and we are knowingly adopting a child with cancer?

Oh God. Help. Why?