Brave

Adopting is a sign of bravery-there are so many unknowns-and so many things our family has to just accept and pray for the best.

Our meeting with Summit Church's Orphancare was AMAZING. We loved meeting all the people and talking about the process-and even learning about Foster Care here in the US-we learned so much about all aspects of Orphancare that we had not thought about-it was fantastic.

Everything is so slow-and yet at the same time, I am scared of it going quickly. We don't have the money right this minute-and while so many people we talked to to night said things like "God will provide", it is so very hard to trust that.

I know, horrible to admit, but for me, as such a budget conscious, money wise person, I have such a hard time trusting that the money will come available as we need it-I guess a big part of me is scared that yes, God seems to provide for others, but will He truly provide for us? Are we worthy of His attention and help?

I don't know, it is so hard to trust in this, and I am a bit ashamed to admit my lack of faith.

But, I will continue to pray, and hope, and beg, that our plans are truly the plans He has for us, and this is truly what he is calling our hearts to do, and that somehow, we will be able to make this happen with His help.

Like praying that her special needs are actually as minor as her medical file says and are the things we feel comfortable taking on with our other children.

Or that somehow, someway, the money will fall into place for us, as is has for so many other adoptive families we have met.

That somehow Bill and I will be able to give our Princess what she needs to heal and settle after her adoption-and to know how to help her grieve and keep alive the beautiful culture she has left behind by coming here.

Or that some of our friends and family that are very much against an adopted child, because of general fears they have about physical and mental health, and 'what that kid has been through' will have a wonderfully soft and changed heart once our Princess is here, and learn how powerful the calling to care for orphans is on our hearts.

And especially, that our Princess will be able to love us and trust us, and know that we will always, forever be her family and she will never have to face the world alone ever again.