Preschool Graduation

Little Dude graduated from preschool today! I'm totally in denial still, haha! It was such a lovely and cute program. They had a string quartet playing the REAL graduation march. And it was held in the beautiful church sanctuary, so it made it seem so very offical and formal. We had such a lovely time! Even JR and Champ enjoyed it because the older kids put on a performance for us parents. I seriously had to work hard not to cry when the kids started singing the abcs. I know, I'm a dork.

Our handsome little guy; he is so proud and excited for kindergarten!

Little Dude and one of his buddies after the ceremony, waiting in line for the buffet luncheon.

Adoption Scares

We have started the adoption journey rather slowly-in fact, we are STILL waiting to find out if our application to even adopt the waiting child we are trying to adopt has been approved.....and we did our application a good month ago.

So, I guess it is good practice for all the waiting that will be coming up, eh?

Anyways, in the meantime, I have been reading everything and anything about adoption of toddlers, since our little Princess will be just over 2 1/2 by the time we can go get her. That is, IF the timeline goes as quickly as our agency predicted, once we finally hear if we are approved. It might be only 10 months once we find out if we are approved, since she is a waiting child with moderate special needs, but then, most people seem to have had a few years of waiting, so who knows, right?

But, back to what I have been reading. Our agency has a book list they recommend, so I have been going through the entire list one by one. Most have been so inspiring to read, like Orphanology, and others sound like they were written by spoiled brats, like Twenty Things Adoptive Kids With Their Adoptive Parents Knew, and then others, like Toddler Adoption, have me scared.

Like seriously scared.


There are SO many things I had not thought about toddler adoption. Like attachment issues, and discipline that normally works for toddlers apparently isn't good for the newly adopted toddler-like time out. And independence isn't a good sign. And you want them to grieve, but you want them to be able to say goodbye and see their caregiver give approval of you, so they can then attach to you....what if that doesn't happen?

What if we have a child that won't attach?

The author has a ton of ideas and tips on how to approach it, but the thought is actually overwhelming-especially since this author indicated that older toddlers-like 2 to 4-have the worst time of forming a new attachment, especially if they have never attached to anyone before.

So while I am waiting to hear from our agency today (fingers crossed) if our application is approved or not, and that we are clear to start our homestudy, I will just be trying to wrap my head around the worst case scenario of what our Princess might have been through, and how her behavior will be.

It is really scary to think about our child hating us and wanting to hurt us, but I think we are up to the challenge. I think we can help her trust us.

I think. And hope.


*and just so you know, the "Twenty things..." book did have some really good points to make, but overall the author's personal stories had the tone of a very spoiled, over indulged child blaming all her life mistakes on the fact she was adopted, when to me, it seemed like most of her issues and mistakes as an adult and teen resulted from a lack of directional discipline from parents that instead gave into and feed her every whim. I don't quite agree with her that someone adopted as a newborn is going to have a primal wound that will never heal.....I think a child's reaction to their adoption has to do very much with how open and age appropriate the parents are with sharing information and allowing periods of grief at stages of life, but still treating that child as a child you must rise into an empathetic, loving, strong and self sufficient adult. *

Mother's Day With Adoption

Mother's Day for me is always joyful. I have three little munchkins that make each year better and better and an amazing husband that loves to spoil me by doing all the laundry for the weekend. If you don't know it, I HATE laundry. Actually, I'm decent at washing, it is just the folding and putting away that I hate. I like to blame it on the fact that we really have no closet space for our things, but really I just hate to fold and iron, so more space probably wouldn't help any.

Needless to say, Bill doing laundry ALL WEEKEND for me is AWESOME!

And he always gets me the stargazer lilies we had at our wedding and in my bouquet, so even though he tries to surprise me, I always know they are coming and can't wait to see where in the house he has hidden them. He is the best, truly.

This Mother's Day is a little different for me though, because we have started down the road of adoption. And we have started the road differently, since we are trying to request a waiting child, so we know her name, and where she is.....and that makes it hard to not think of her constantly and hope she is well. I know she is loved, luckily, because I have been lucky enough to know people that have volunteered and worked in her orphanage (which is how we came to find her and try to request adopting her).

But, since I have all this swirling through my heart right now, it is hard to not realize we are missing a family member.

I know, it sounds crazy, since we may still be turned down. So she may not be ours. But I'm hoping so badly, and just FEELING so much, that it is meant to be. And I just can't help but feel a little sad that our little girl isn't here with us today, enjoying the rerun of "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" (which the boys thought was HILARIOUS...brought back some good memories from when I was little and saw it the first time around!)

Anyways, I found out recently that we should know the result of our application on the 20th.

At that point we will know if we can keep going forward with our adoption, or if our request is denyed, we will try to learn why, and see if there is still the option to adopt a different child out there, or if India feels that we just don't fit their criteria, period.

I am nervous, since we have three sons already, but our agency said it helped that the child we want is a girl, since she would be the only girl, India will be more prone to over look the child limit for a non heritage family.

Keep the prayers? And maybe in two more Mother's Days we will have a daughter laughing here as well.

Happy Mother's Day to you all!

New News

So, I know in my heart that adoption takes a long time. I have a blogger friend who waited 5 years to be matched with her lovely daughter, so hey, I understand and realize we will be waiting. But, right now, we are just waiting to hear back that our application has been accepted. And while our agency coordinator said that everything looked great to her, the ultimate decision is up to the lady that works with the India government very closely, and she knows exactly what their preferences will be with the new CARA rules. And our family is RIGHT on the border of their rules anyway, because Champ our Princess will be right at 9 months apart.....JUST past their age limit set to make sure there can't be artificial "twinning". AND we are JUST at the limit of children already allowed in the family prior to adoption. AND even though Princess is special needs, she isn't severe...and she is still really young, in terms of international adoption. So, we have some things going for us, and some against us. And right now waiting is killing me, because I really just want to KNOW that we can keep going forward, or stop for the time being. If we get turned down, it just means that Princess isn't meant for us, but that another child out there is, and this is all part of that path. But seriously, waiting to just hear a yes, keep going, or no, you can't adopt her and you need to look at a different kind of adoption is killing me. So maybe some prayers that we get an answer to which path we need to get on sometime soon? And in the mean time, a cute photo of us all from our cousin Angie's trip to NC from Oregon!

Now we just need to get out there to go on one of her rafting tours!

JR Playing Soccer

When we first signed up both boys for soccer, we had thought Little Dude and JR would be on the same team (since they are only 19 months apart) BUT, it worked out that the boys were put on separate teams, because Little Dude had played last year, and there were enough first time players to create two teams of just first time kids.

We considered trying to request changing that, but then didn't.

 And I am so SO glad; because while Little Dude is your super typical first born, JR is much more glad to just sit back and watch Little Dude take charge. Being on HIS OWN team has made JR really come out of the shadows-and we see the pride he feels for HIS team.

It is so awesome to see him bloom more, in a way I know he wouldn't have if he had been sharing this team with Little Dude:

Things always work out as they should.

 

India Adoption

I have wanted to adopt a child for almost as long as I can remember. Something inside me just longs to give a home to a child that was unwanted by others.

From experience, I can tell you that there is nothing worse than feeling of being unwanted. When my parents walked out of my life, and decided they really didn't care to be involved in raising children anymore, it was a huge blow, even though I was certainly not a young child when it happened.
Of all the people in this world, children deserve to feel loved, safe, and wanted.

Bill and I have talked long and hard about adoption. I think I started talking to him about it before we even had Little Dude, but by the time we had JR, Bill was much more open to the idea of adding to our family through adoption.

We started looking into how it worked, and the different kinds of adoptions out there, like domestic vs international, open vs closed.

And while I won't bore you with all the searches, books, info and people I contacted to learn everything I could about everything we could expect, I will share that we really hit a wall, and realized that for many reasons, it looked like adoption wasn't going to be a road we could follow.
And I was completely heartbroken, and so upset. But, we talked, and realized that if it just wasn't going to work, there was nothing we could do, and to just accept that if God wanted it to happen, He could make it happen. Who were we, to get mad and upset, when in a snap He could make it happen, if it was meant to happen? He who created the universe, and me, and knew my heart, because He created it, would let adoption happen for us if it was meant to be.

So we backed off, and left it up to God.

And a few months later, I got a bit of a random email from a friend that mentioned a book on Pinterest.
And that book on Pinterest linked back to one of the adoption agency people I had met in my searches.
And in talking to her again, she sent me info on a special needs orphanage in one of the countries Bill and I both qualified to adopt from, and had been very much in love with the idea of adopting from.
I looked around the orphanage's facebook page and contacted them, just to see, how someone might request a specific older child.

A little boy on there had caught my eye.

The agency director contacted me back, telling me what agency we should team with, and saying that a family had already started paperwork on the little boy, but that she had a joyful toddler girl that needed a family.

And she sent me the info on an adoption agency she recommended and how to try to request matching to this specific special needs child.

And I fell in love. I showed Bill, and he fell in love, too.

So here we are. We have applied and we will be starting our home study.

And then applying for grants and assistance, because while we have saved, we don't have quite enough saved yet to bring her home right now.

But it looks like, so long as things on both sides keep going along, that we will indeed be able to have a good chance of getting matched to this little princess angel. It might not happen, but odds are good, and I am hopeful.

And we are remembering, that God will make what He wants to happen, happen. She may be meant for our family, to be the little princess we need to soften up our rough and tumble wild princes, or she may just be the guide pointing us along this path so we can meet the child that is meant for us.
We are here, we are doing it, and I am so hopeful.

***Note, we are newbies to the adoption world and we had not realized that we could not share any  specific info yet, so I have updated this post to reflect that****

I Came To Win, To Fight, To Conqure, To Thrive

Champ at the Park, loving the Swing. 

So much has been going on these past 6 months since my last post. A lot, and then at the same time, not that much that seemed "worthy" of writing about.

The boys, Little Dude and JR are in soccer now and loving it. I'm loving that our Saturdays are spent cheering them on, there really is no where else or anything else I'd rather be. Their huge smiles as they run for water at half time and look over to see if we are watching-I love those mid game waves, even if it means they completely miss the ball rolling right in front of them.

I just laugh inside, and smile and cheer and wave back.

Yes, we are here, watching, and we are so proud of you, always.


School starts for Little Dude in August, and already my heart hurts thinking about not seeing him ALL DAY. But, like in Nemo, I need to just smile and tell him to have a great adventure.

That is what this parenting is all about, right? Letting them have grand adventures, and knowing we will always stand in the shadows, cheering them on.

Champ is starting to walk and has the cutest way of doing raspberries all through church. We make all the old people on our little side area crack up.

He can also say "uh oh" quite well and in the cutest sing song voice. I love it, even if it does mean that there is actually something to say uh oh about-yes, he uses it correctly. Usually when a mess has been made.

We are pursing adoption, finally, after many years of thinking about it, talking about it, and finding reasons that it wouldn't work financially, Will and I have really felt a tug and desire to at least try and see what happens. I have faith that somehow, financially, it will all work out.

God has the power to create the universe, so I know that if we are truly meant to adopt then somehow, things will continue to fall into place for us.

We are looking at adopting a sweet little special needs child from India. She is the same age as Champ, and has a similar smile-huge and wide, and she also has tons of teeth, just like him.

Things are falling into place in the most amazing and scary of ways-to the point that we have decided that we really are being called to bring this little girl to our home.

I'm actually waiting on a call from our adoption agency today to discuss her more and what our process will be in requesting a specific child, as opposed to just getting in the general line. It helps us tons that she is listed as special needs, though her needs are actually far more minimal, according to her orphanage director whom I've already spoken with, than her file indicates.

And there are so many other signs -like how I even got in contact with the orphanage director out of the blue from a friend's email.

So much falling into place, making this all feel like we have to pursue it, and just see what happens.

So, we are starting the process, with much excitement and apprehension, so see if we turn our family of five into a family of six.

and that, my friends, is all that is going on in our little neck of the world. Pray that we are patiently able to follow God's plan, regardless of that meaning we adopt a little girl, or just have to wait to see what is to be revealed.